Day 218: A night for epiphanies...
Oct. 29th, 2005 03:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nagi_schwarzNagi has had several epiphanies tonight.
The first is this: it's easier to go off and be alone if you know you have someone (friend, family, lover - in the purely emotional sense) to come back to. Because you can be alone without being lonely.
The second is that perhaps it isn't as bad an idea as people make it out to be to walk around alone at night, but if you plan to do it in Cedar City right now you'd best double up on your clothing layers and think about gloves (which I didn't). However, bad idea or not, being out alone between two and three in the morning, one is still extremely paranoid, perhaps with good reason. I watched every car go by - and there were a startling number of them for this insidious witching hour, even on a weekend - and decided that my paranoia was getting the better of me and came home. I think severe cold really does take the buzz off of everything, including caffeine, because I feel surprisingly tired.
The third is this: stone and metal can conduct heat; conversely, they can conduct cold. It was pretty cold sitting at Aristotle's feet and reading that new historicism. It took a while for the cold to seep in, but when it finally did...gak! Wow, that really didn't feel good. Only my torso was warm. My nose and ears are barely warming up, and my hands were numb so I couldn't turn pages. I was careful and walked in the light because my hoodie was dark and I didn't want to get hit by a car (as Del reminded me could so easily happen earlier).
And fourth...maybe it's just me, but as soon as I have someone whom I know can defend me I start to doubt my abilities to protect myself. Weird. Does that happen to anyone else?
As for the fifth...it's something the rest of you will probably never experience. But cheesy Weiss Kreuz music is great for late-night epiphanies, and the recording thereof.
The first is this: it's easier to go off and be alone if you know you have someone (friend, family, lover - in the purely emotional sense) to come back to. Because you can be alone without being lonely.
The second is that perhaps it isn't as bad an idea as people make it out to be to walk around alone at night, but if you plan to do it in Cedar City right now you'd best double up on your clothing layers and think about gloves (which I didn't). However, bad idea or not, being out alone between two and three in the morning, one is still extremely paranoid, perhaps with good reason. I watched every car go by - and there were a startling number of them for this insidious witching hour, even on a weekend - and decided that my paranoia was getting the better of me and came home. I think severe cold really does take the buzz off of everything, including caffeine, because I feel surprisingly tired.
The third is this: stone and metal can conduct heat; conversely, they can conduct cold. It was pretty cold sitting at Aristotle's feet and reading that new historicism. It took a while for the cold to seep in, but when it finally did...gak! Wow, that really didn't feel good. Only my torso was warm. My nose and ears are barely warming up, and my hands were numb so I couldn't turn pages. I was careful and walked in the light because my hoodie was dark and I didn't want to get hit by a car (as Del reminded me could so easily happen earlier).
And fourth...maybe it's just me, but as soon as I have someone whom I know can defend me I start to doubt my abilities to protect myself. Weird. Does that happen to anyone else?
As for the fifth...it's something the rest of you will probably never experience. But cheesy Weiss Kreuz music is great for late-night epiphanies, and the recording thereof.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 06:27 pm (UTC)I never did get to finish watching that season
no subject
Date: 2005-10-29 07:57 pm (UTC)Also, cold is not good for illness.
That said, I understand the need for silent lonely reflection in the cold and the dark. So good on you for seeking it out. :)
M.