Day 1241: Adventures in Lawyer TV Land
Apr. 3rd, 2016 11:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nagi_schwarzSo last week was a big trial. It paralleled my first big trial on this job: private TPR petition, 3 days, I was basically the swing vote.
It was hard. Because it was three days long, and by the close of evidence I still wasn't sure which side I was on. Also it was hard because it was boring as crap. I wasn't a party to the petition (although my client's rights were affected in a major way, so I had to be there), so I had neither the burden of proof nor the burden of defense. On the other hand, I had to pay attention to every scrap of evidence so I could a) make a decision and b) keep track of any objections and responses made by the other attorneys.
The positive highlights of the trial: I worked with some great attorneys. Respondent Dad had two lawyers, one woman, one man. The woman had been spearheading the case since the second hearing and did all the trial work. She was great to work with. Assertive and aggressive for her client without being a jerk. Fun to talk to during breaks and between witnesses. Professional. Intelligent. Prepared. Petitioner Grandparents' attorney was Jay, a man who usually is a parental defender. I got to see him really bring his A-game. Usually when we're at a TPR trial, his client doesn't even show up, and he puts up a token fight, but the deck is stacked against him. Of course Alan was super good. Polite. Professional. Delivered a really good closing even though his client was neutral on the matter. I learned a lot from watching all of them work. I bonded with the poor caseworker witness just like at the last trial. We huddled in conference rooms on our lunch breaks and commiserated.
The negative highlights of trial:
1 - the torture talk. I should have timed it or kept track or something, but I swear at least once an hour someone had to bring up the fact that Dad had allegedly participated in the kidnapping and torture of a guy. Once an hour, every hour, across eight hours across three days. Not to mention the torture victim himself came and testified. (True legal fact: having participated in a gruesome violent crime does not automatically make you an unfit parent under the law.)
2 - the expert witnesses. Here's the truth about expert witnesses in trial: they're not as interesting as Bones or CSI make them out to be. In fact, they're brutally boring, because laying foundation for their testimony is very mechanical, and what they're testifying about is technical and born. Also, since we're dealing with issues of psychology (and suddenly I understand Rodney McKay's endless frustration with the hard sciences), there's a lot of wiggle room for varying opinions that are all legit, especially if the subject of the psychological evaluation responds to each evaluator differently.
2a - the one expert witness who made a Kung Fu Panda reference was my favorite. He was pleasant, objective, maybe a little too soft-spoken, but thorough, and I trusted his opinion most.
2b - the witness who tacked a "PhD" onto the end of her name when asked to state her name for the record was boring as crap. And when she got all huffy at the one lawyer because he called her "Ms." instead of "doctor" was hilarious.
2c - cross-examining the one expert witness and going page-by-page through his twenty-page report was just cruel. That wouldn't have played well with a jury. It certainly wouldn't have played well with a judge at a bench trial. Luckily that cross-x got broken up partway through so we could take a witness out of order so that witness could get to another appointment.
3 - the lawyer drama. So, Utah is a special state. On top of the regular rules of attorney ethics (which are super bizarre to non-lawyers), we also have the Rules of Professional Civility. On top of being ethical, we must also be civil. Seriously. We have extra rules that say we have to play nice.
3a - I was sitting in the courtroom on the first day of trial right after our lunch break, and the bailiff came bustling in, went right up to the bench, had a word with the judge. Then he went back outside. Then he came back in and had another harried conference with the judge. The judge told all of the lawyers to come back into his chambers. Since I'd overheard the AG mention he'd talked about possibly cutting a deal with dad's attorneys, I figured we were going to talk about that potential, maybe (even if Dad didn't lose the trial, the state could still ask for findings against him). One of the lawyers accidentally pushed open the door to the secure area without a pass card and nearly set off the alarm. And then we got into the judge's office. As it turns out, dad's Old White Man lawyer had cornered the torture victim witness in the hallway. Then he cussed out Jay when Jay stepped in to protect his witness. Old Dude insisted his conversation with the witness was friendly, Jay insisted it wasn't, and it all went downhill from there. The judge finally got Old Dude to admit he'd violated the rules of professional civility. Old Dude's response? I did it because Jay did it first. Seriously. I thought we were adults.
3b - old dude attempted to defend himself by straying into dangerous, evidence-like territory by talking about how he had such a close relationship with Dad. Old Dude has been kind of irrational and emotional about this case since the beginning. He's not a trial attorney, not a family law attorney, and certainly not a child welfare attorney. He was smart to bring on Lady Attorney for Dad, because she's brilliant, but he was in way over his head from day one. He insisted his role was more of friend than lawyer. Then he should have been a friend and not a lawyer, because he definitely wasn't acting like much of a lawyer.
3c - the next day, first thing in the morning, before trial started, we got hauled into the judge's chambers again. Guess what? Old Dude wanted to withdraw as counsel and then get on the stand and testify, basically against torture victim. He strayed into evidence-like territory again by talking about how he overheard the witness joking and talking to others and making comments that made his testimony seem less credible. I guess that lawyer missed me and the caseworker joking and laughing during breaks? Because in this business, if we don't take the opportunity to laugh whenever possible, we crack. Everyone reacts to trauma differently. If that witness needed to recover from the trauma of having to relive what was done to him by laughing when he was done testifying, so be it.
3d - we had to look up the rules of professional ethics, several rules of evidence, and then duke it out after the lunch break. And the entire thing spiralled out of control when Jay pointed out that if Old Dude testified to impeach Torture Victim, Jay would have to testify to impeach Old Dude, and then the bailiff and AG would also have to testify since they witnessed old dude's freakout in the hallway, and really, it was like an episode of Ally McBeal, The Practice, and Drop Dead Diva up in the judge's chambers.
And then I spent all day Thursday at court too, because it was a regular court day.
I came home from trial on Tuesday, and we had Cubs. Cody and I had miscommunicated, so we each bought snacks for the boys. Only two showed up, but it was warm enough outside that we could take them next door to the lush green garden and teach them some karate for their fitness badges. After the cub scouts left, I cooked dinner, and we ate, and then I sat down and cried, because I'd been in go mode since eight that morning and didn't stop till after eight that night. Cody was sweet and gave me a back rub and helped me fold laundry, but it was rough.
Four full days in court made me crazy. I spent most of Friday a zombie, getting loaded on soda (had my first Southern Gentleman since Lent - though while I was in line for the soda I was rocking out to a song and the guitarist from the band that performed said song was also in line at the soda shack and I had to turn down my music really fast before he said hi to me - he's also one of my neighbors), going to meetings, and dealing with angry grandparents.
If that's what a three-day trial does to me, I'm nervous about my upcoming five-day trial.
Wednesday night I at least had dance class, which was good. I got to see my lady friends, and we danced, and it was wonderful. We keep changing the choreography on the basket dance, which is kinda making me crazy, but at least our zill dance is pretty much set.
Thursday at court I had to deliver upsetting news to one of my kids, the result of which was him punching walls, me hiding behind the bailiff, and him getting taken back to detention. It took two bailiffs and PO to get him back to the holding cells, and then he punched the walls some more, so the other hearings were delayed till we got the bailiff back.
Friday I got to visit a baby. That was kind of fun. Babies are always cute. Friday night my girl Angela came over and we picked out costume ideas and went out for dinner with Cody and danced, and that was fun.
Saturday was a terribly lazy day. Woke up early, wrote, headed north. Hung out with friends. The boys took off (Cody stayed home to do homework), and we girls literally sat around talking and crafting. BenTen was doing embroidery, I was knitting, Del was crocheting, and we had way too much fun. We talked about life and work and old loves. We got caught up. Then one girl had to leave, and the boys came home, and we ended up playing the card game the gang got me for my birthday, Slash. I was super surprised that the boys were willing to play. We had so much fun! Half of the fun wasn't the actual ships we came up with but the sales pitches. Hands down the winner of the night was Princess Leia + Cruella DeVille, because...wookie coats.
We are such bad people.
I spent all Sunday being terribly lazy, trying to knit my way through conference talks but mostly falling asleep because Dingo fell asleep on top of me.
I'm pretty excited, though - we're dancing on Friday, and my parents are coming to watch, and I think it'll be pretty awesome.
Here goes!
It was hard. Because it was three days long, and by the close of evidence I still wasn't sure which side I was on. Also it was hard because it was boring as crap. I wasn't a party to the petition (although my client's rights were affected in a major way, so I had to be there), so I had neither the burden of proof nor the burden of defense. On the other hand, I had to pay attention to every scrap of evidence so I could a) make a decision and b) keep track of any objections and responses made by the other attorneys.
The positive highlights of the trial: I worked with some great attorneys. Respondent Dad had two lawyers, one woman, one man. The woman had been spearheading the case since the second hearing and did all the trial work. She was great to work with. Assertive and aggressive for her client without being a jerk. Fun to talk to during breaks and between witnesses. Professional. Intelligent. Prepared. Petitioner Grandparents' attorney was Jay, a man who usually is a parental defender. I got to see him really bring his A-game. Usually when we're at a TPR trial, his client doesn't even show up, and he puts up a token fight, but the deck is stacked against him. Of course Alan was super good. Polite. Professional. Delivered a really good closing even though his client was neutral on the matter. I learned a lot from watching all of them work. I bonded with the poor caseworker witness just like at the last trial. We huddled in conference rooms on our lunch breaks and commiserated.
The negative highlights of trial:
1 - the torture talk. I should have timed it or kept track or something, but I swear at least once an hour someone had to bring up the fact that Dad had allegedly participated in the kidnapping and torture of a guy. Once an hour, every hour, across eight hours across three days. Not to mention the torture victim himself came and testified. (True legal fact: having participated in a gruesome violent crime does not automatically make you an unfit parent under the law.)
2 - the expert witnesses. Here's the truth about expert witnesses in trial: they're not as interesting as Bones or CSI make them out to be. In fact, they're brutally boring, because laying foundation for their testimony is very mechanical, and what they're testifying about is technical and born. Also, since we're dealing with issues of psychology (and suddenly I understand Rodney McKay's endless frustration with the hard sciences), there's a lot of wiggle room for varying opinions that are all legit, especially if the subject of the psychological evaluation responds to each evaluator differently.
2a - the one expert witness who made a Kung Fu Panda reference was my favorite. He was pleasant, objective, maybe a little too soft-spoken, but thorough, and I trusted his opinion most.
2b - the witness who tacked a "PhD" onto the end of her name when asked to state her name for the record was boring as crap. And when she got all huffy at the one lawyer because he called her "Ms." instead of "doctor" was hilarious.
2c - cross-examining the one expert witness and going page-by-page through his twenty-page report was just cruel. That wouldn't have played well with a jury. It certainly wouldn't have played well with a judge at a bench trial. Luckily that cross-x got broken up partway through so we could take a witness out of order so that witness could get to another appointment.
3 - the lawyer drama. So, Utah is a special state. On top of the regular rules of attorney ethics (which are super bizarre to non-lawyers), we also have the Rules of Professional Civility. On top of being ethical, we must also be civil. Seriously. We have extra rules that say we have to play nice.
3a - I was sitting in the courtroom on the first day of trial right after our lunch break, and the bailiff came bustling in, went right up to the bench, had a word with the judge. Then he went back outside. Then he came back in and had another harried conference with the judge. The judge told all of the lawyers to come back into his chambers. Since I'd overheard the AG mention he'd talked about possibly cutting a deal with dad's attorneys, I figured we were going to talk about that potential, maybe (even if Dad didn't lose the trial, the state could still ask for findings against him). One of the lawyers accidentally pushed open the door to the secure area without a pass card and nearly set off the alarm. And then we got into the judge's office. As it turns out, dad's Old White Man lawyer had cornered the torture victim witness in the hallway. Then he cussed out Jay when Jay stepped in to protect his witness. Old Dude insisted his conversation with the witness was friendly, Jay insisted it wasn't, and it all went downhill from there. The judge finally got Old Dude to admit he'd violated the rules of professional civility. Old Dude's response? I did it because Jay did it first. Seriously. I thought we were adults.
3b - old dude attempted to defend himself by straying into dangerous, evidence-like territory by talking about how he had such a close relationship with Dad. Old Dude has been kind of irrational and emotional about this case since the beginning. He's not a trial attorney, not a family law attorney, and certainly not a child welfare attorney. He was smart to bring on Lady Attorney for Dad, because she's brilliant, but he was in way over his head from day one. He insisted his role was more of friend than lawyer. Then he should have been a friend and not a lawyer, because he definitely wasn't acting like much of a lawyer.
3c - the next day, first thing in the morning, before trial started, we got hauled into the judge's chambers again. Guess what? Old Dude wanted to withdraw as counsel and then get on the stand and testify, basically against torture victim. He strayed into evidence-like territory again by talking about how he overheard the witness joking and talking to others and making comments that made his testimony seem less credible. I guess that lawyer missed me and the caseworker joking and laughing during breaks? Because in this business, if we don't take the opportunity to laugh whenever possible, we crack. Everyone reacts to trauma differently. If that witness needed to recover from the trauma of having to relive what was done to him by laughing when he was done testifying, so be it.
3d - we had to look up the rules of professional ethics, several rules of evidence, and then duke it out after the lunch break. And the entire thing spiralled out of control when Jay pointed out that if Old Dude testified to impeach Torture Victim, Jay would have to testify to impeach Old Dude, and then the bailiff and AG would also have to testify since they witnessed old dude's freakout in the hallway, and really, it was like an episode of Ally McBeal, The Practice, and Drop Dead Diva up in the judge's chambers.
And then I spent all day Thursday at court too, because it was a regular court day.
I came home from trial on Tuesday, and we had Cubs. Cody and I had miscommunicated, so we each bought snacks for the boys. Only two showed up, but it was warm enough outside that we could take them next door to the lush green garden and teach them some karate for their fitness badges. After the cub scouts left, I cooked dinner, and we ate, and then I sat down and cried, because I'd been in go mode since eight that morning and didn't stop till after eight that night. Cody was sweet and gave me a back rub and helped me fold laundry, but it was rough.
Four full days in court made me crazy. I spent most of Friday a zombie, getting loaded on soda (had my first Southern Gentleman since Lent - though while I was in line for the soda I was rocking out to a song and the guitarist from the band that performed said song was also in line at the soda shack and I had to turn down my music really fast before he said hi to me - he's also one of my neighbors), going to meetings, and dealing with angry grandparents.
If that's what a three-day trial does to me, I'm nervous about my upcoming five-day trial.
Wednesday night I at least had dance class, which was good. I got to see my lady friends, and we danced, and it was wonderful. We keep changing the choreography on the basket dance, which is kinda making me crazy, but at least our zill dance is pretty much set.
Thursday at court I had to deliver upsetting news to one of my kids, the result of which was him punching walls, me hiding behind the bailiff, and him getting taken back to detention. It took two bailiffs and PO to get him back to the holding cells, and then he punched the walls some more, so the other hearings were delayed till we got the bailiff back.
Friday I got to visit a baby. That was kind of fun. Babies are always cute. Friday night my girl Angela came over and we picked out costume ideas and went out for dinner with Cody and danced, and that was fun.
Saturday was a terribly lazy day. Woke up early, wrote, headed north. Hung out with friends. The boys took off (Cody stayed home to do homework), and we girls literally sat around talking and crafting. BenTen was doing embroidery, I was knitting, Del was crocheting, and we had way too much fun. We talked about life and work and old loves. We got caught up. Then one girl had to leave, and the boys came home, and we ended up playing the card game the gang got me for my birthday, Slash. I was super surprised that the boys were willing to play. We had so much fun! Half of the fun wasn't the actual ships we came up with but the sales pitches. Hands down the winner of the night was Princess Leia + Cruella DeVille, because...wookie coats.
We are such bad people.
I spent all Sunday being terribly lazy, trying to knit my way through conference talks but mostly falling asleep because Dingo fell asleep on top of me.
I'm pretty excited, though - we're dancing on Friday, and my parents are coming to watch, and I think it'll be pretty awesome.
Here goes!
no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 10:22 am (UTC)Mind of I friend you? As always, I'm finding your writing interesting. :)
no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 02:45 pm (UTC)