Day 932: Colorblind
Aug. 19th, 2010 12:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nagi_schwarzI think this recording things I learn is an excellent strategy, as it forces me to reevaluate the events of my day and find something useful in them.
On Tuesday I learned that I can get useful things done, and that I really am a nice LDS girl, and also that Sensei Raymond, for all that I was nervous, really is a good guy, and Angela was right - he's wised up some in the time I've been gone. My first class back was good - not as horrible as I thought it'd be, but then Sensei was thoughtful and dragged massive fans into the Tuesday Night Room so we could stay kinda cool (although it meant he had to yell extra loud at us). I got hugs from the girls, nods from the boys (most of whom have grown, doggone it), and the parents asked me how school was going. They looked confused when I explained that I'd graduated and am free forever. I think I have also finally learned how to tell the twins apart (by their glasses, which is a lame way to do it, but so far it works for me). Apparently my rolling isn't as broken as I thought it was, and I managed not to crash into my compatriots, but there were some near misses. Sensei Raymond's object lesson in teaching us to watch our surroundings really did help - a few times later on in the lessons the twins and I managed to avoid some nasty crashes with the upper ranks.
Afterwards I went home and called Angela. We talked about training and t-shirts (new ones for class) and school and how her shoulder is doing, and we have come to a consensus that Sensei Raymond is a good person and he is improving as a teacher, but it would be nice to see more of Sensei Green and Elder Sensei Raymond.
The best part of my night was talking to Cody over Skype (he'd lost his phone). While we were talking his dad came home, and he came over and said hi, and we chatted a bit before Cody chased him off. Watching those two is always interesting, because even though I fancied myself a tomboy growing up, I was socialized feminine enough that I could never fully invest myself in the way males interact with each other, which involves a lot of insults disguising genuine affection. Not that I don't have conversations like that, but after a while I lose my nerve and revert to being polite. Politeness is easy for me, as a general rule...unless I'm being oblivious. Which I often am.
Before class (because my sense of timeline is jacked) I talked to Ericka on Skype, and her roommates had some friends over, including one friend's child, and Ericka warned me, "Just so you know, there's a kid in the house, so watch your language." Then she blinked, laughed, and shook her head. "Wait, why am I saying that to you?"
Yeah. Apparently I am nice LDS girl after all. Despite what sometimes comes out of my mouth when someone does something crazy in traffic.
Yesterday was fun. I slept in, got up in time to meet McSweeney at the cinema. The Expendables was a testosterone fest of all crazy, and while it was entertaining and and its funny moments, in the end it was sort of...meh. Afterwards McSweeney and I went to my place, grabbed some shinai, and sparred on the grass in the park opposite my building. One dude totally interrupted his own walk to watch us. McSweeney is tougher than he looks and I really, really need to work on ground fighting, but apparently I still have what it takes with a shinai. (Sort of. Sensei Raymond was goofing off with a shinai on Tuesday before class, and if that's what ninja consider goofing off with a sword, I'd hate to see what they can do when they're being serious.) After sparring, McSweeney and I played Guitar Hero (he can play on hard, I stuck to medium cautiously), and then we played Tekken. The last time we played, he displayed pretty good button-mashing skills and managed to defeat both me and Angela, but this time I pretty much owned him up one side of the street and down the other. We played straight till it was time for him to go to Institute, and then I went to talk to Bishop Dallon.
As a general rule, unless I've done something terrible, I like talking to my bishop, because he's a very pleasant man, cheerful, and carries a bright spirit about him, and I always come away from our conversations feeling energetic and happy and determined about life, determine to be a better person. We talked some about my future and also a job. He said he'd be happy to pass my resumé around, as would Brother Evans (who works at the railroad), and then...then he mentioned something that I should have been aware of all along about myself.
Ladies and gentleman, I am colorblind about myself.
What did I learn yesterday?
That I am not a white girl.
Now, anyone who knows me would respond with a very classy "no duh", but it really hadn't occurred to me until Dallon brought it up. Since he's a lawyer, he spun it in a very lawyerly way by explaining how my being "ethnically diverse" is a "gift", like legal writing, because it's an asset firms are looking for in order to better serve their clients, should they have minority clients who want to feel like their attorneys can relate to them. I was impressed at how well he spun it. I think he took my reticence on the subject as sensitivity rather than me trying not to laugh, but he suggested that, in looking for a job, the whole not-being-a-middle-class-white-boy thing would go well for me. I'm serious - it really hadn't occurred to me, not really. I mean, no wonder everyone says I won't have trouble finding a job. Sure, I graduated cum laude and I was on a trial team and worked in the clinic and even CALI'd a legal writing class, but...apparently I have an added edge.
I don't know that it counts, though, because I'm so colorblind to my own situation that I assumed I would have just as hard a time as my caucasian classmates. Seriously - I was raised by white people. I think of myself, essentially, as a white girl who was raised in Asia and Europe and who tans really well. This does not mean that, by any stretch of the imagination, I am not afraid of how hard it will be to get a job, and I've started applying for jobs I likely won't get just to get the rejections out of the way, but hey...I learned something new about myself.
The best part of yesterday was talking to Cody and hanging out with Angela. After I got done talking to the bishop, I called Angela and invited her over to hang out so I could teach her to make baby booties. Apparently I have lame hearing, because she offered to bring a "frozen pizza", and asked if I had a frying pan with a lid. I explained that none of my frying pans had lids and also none of them were big enough to cook a frozen pizza, and which point she said, "No, I said 'frozen beef broccoli' meal." She had the stir fry, so I went home and put on some rice (yay for being Asian enough to have a plus two to my rice cooking skill), and then she came over. We had dinner (she also brought a Dutch Apple Pie, which we put in the oven while supper cooked) and watched goofy Colin Morgan and Bradley James videos online, as well as some Improv Everywhere stuff. Once the pie was done we set it out to cool and ran to WalMart for crocheting supplies. I was faintly pleased that we had a grown-up dinner - I cleared off the center island and set the table and everything.
When we got back, we set about crocheting baby booties for Angela's friend who's going to have a baby. Amber and I had a brief text message exchange about a date she went on, and then Cody and I ended up talking, which was fun, although I felt a bit bad for busting up our conversation helping Angela, but Cody was both patient and funny about it. As it turns out, Angela is a quick study, and apparently when it comes to one-on-one crafting instruction I'm not a bad teacher, and we made it through the first two rounds with little trouble. I miss crocheting with steel hooks and fine cotton - it's much smoother than wool yarn. I'm such a girl.
On Tuesday when we talked, Cody told me about Planck and black body radiation and other shiny things he learned from reading his PChem textbook, and when we talked last night, he said he'd be doing more reading today, which means I get to learn more shiny physics tonight. Cody is baffled at how enthusiastic I am about learning what he's learning (although I'll never understand it nearly as well, due to my being mathematically challenged), but he's nice enough to share, and hey, maybe it'll help him review, right? Part of it is I like listening to his voice, and part of it is...even though I'm done with school, my mom's right, I do love to learn. So I can learn physics vicariously. Yay!
Also, on Tuesday night, I was terrified that I'd lost my gold necklace, the one with the gavel. I figured it had fallen out of my bag while I was at class, and Sensei was nice enough to search, but he didn't find it, and I wanted to cry, because it was a gift from my mom, and I searched and couldn't find it. Cody was very sweet and offered to give me back the little golden gavel I'd given him to keep on his keyring, but I told him to keep it. And then yesterday, while I was letting McSweeney into my flat, I discovered my necklace tangled up in my keyring. I don't know how I'd missed it the night before or during the day or how it had managed to stay on my keyring the entire time, but there it was. A miracle. Seriously. Because the Tuesday Night Room has already swallowed one of my necklaces, and it was much bigger than this one.
Lesson learned, though - remove all jewelry before training.
Today I am going to be productive and do more useful things, and then hopefully Angela and I will go to the movies (maybe with Xiao Qian) and then we will hang out.
...yes, I am crazy.
On Tuesday I learned that I can get useful things done, and that I really am a nice LDS girl, and also that Sensei Raymond, for all that I was nervous, really is a good guy, and Angela was right - he's wised up some in the time I've been gone. My first class back was good - not as horrible as I thought it'd be, but then Sensei was thoughtful and dragged massive fans into the Tuesday Night Room so we could stay kinda cool (although it meant he had to yell extra loud at us). I got hugs from the girls, nods from the boys (most of whom have grown, doggone it), and the parents asked me how school was going. They looked confused when I explained that I'd graduated and am free forever. I think I have also finally learned how to tell the twins apart (by their glasses, which is a lame way to do it, but so far it works for me). Apparently my rolling isn't as broken as I thought it was, and I managed not to crash into my compatriots, but there were some near misses. Sensei Raymond's object lesson in teaching us to watch our surroundings really did help - a few times later on in the lessons the twins and I managed to avoid some nasty crashes with the upper ranks.
Afterwards I went home and called Angela. We talked about training and t-shirts (new ones for class) and school and how her shoulder is doing, and we have come to a consensus that Sensei Raymond is a good person and he is improving as a teacher, but it would be nice to see more of Sensei Green and Elder Sensei Raymond.
The best part of my night was talking to Cody over Skype (he'd lost his phone). While we were talking his dad came home, and he came over and said hi, and we chatted a bit before Cody chased him off. Watching those two is always interesting, because even though I fancied myself a tomboy growing up, I was socialized feminine enough that I could never fully invest myself in the way males interact with each other, which involves a lot of insults disguising genuine affection. Not that I don't have conversations like that, but after a while I lose my nerve and revert to being polite. Politeness is easy for me, as a general rule...unless I'm being oblivious. Which I often am.
Before class (because my sense of timeline is jacked) I talked to Ericka on Skype, and her roommates had some friends over, including one friend's child, and Ericka warned me, "Just so you know, there's a kid in the house, so watch your language." Then she blinked, laughed, and shook her head. "Wait, why am I saying that to you?"
Yeah. Apparently I am nice LDS girl after all. Despite what sometimes comes out of my mouth when someone does something crazy in traffic.
Yesterday was fun. I slept in, got up in time to meet McSweeney at the cinema. The Expendables was a testosterone fest of all crazy, and while it was entertaining and and its funny moments, in the end it was sort of...meh. Afterwards McSweeney and I went to my place, grabbed some shinai, and sparred on the grass in the park opposite my building. One dude totally interrupted his own walk to watch us. McSweeney is tougher than he looks and I really, really need to work on ground fighting, but apparently I still have what it takes with a shinai. (Sort of. Sensei Raymond was goofing off with a shinai on Tuesday before class, and if that's what ninja consider goofing off with a sword, I'd hate to see what they can do when they're being serious.) After sparring, McSweeney and I played Guitar Hero (he can play on hard, I stuck to medium cautiously), and then we played Tekken. The last time we played, he displayed pretty good button-mashing skills and managed to defeat both me and Angela, but this time I pretty much owned him up one side of the street and down the other. We played straight till it was time for him to go to Institute, and then I went to talk to Bishop Dallon.
As a general rule, unless I've done something terrible, I like talking to my bishop, because he's a very pleasant man, cheerful, and carries a bright spirit about him, and I always come away from our conversations feeling energetic and happy and determined about life, determine to be a better person. We talked some about my future and also a job. He said he'd be happy to pass my resumé around, as would Brother Evans (who works at the railroad), and then...then he mentioned something that I should have been aware of all along about myself.
Ladies and gentleman, I am colorblind about myself.
What did I learn yesterday?
That I am not a white girl.
Now, anyone who knows me would respond with a very classy "no duh", but it really hadn't occurred to me until Dallon brought it up. Since he's a lawyer, he spun it in a very lawyerly way by explaining how my being "ethnically diverse" is a "gift", like legal writing, because it's an asset firms are looking for in order to better serve their clients, should they have minority clients who want to feel like their attorneys can relate to them. I was impressed at how well he spun it. I think he took my reticence on the subject as sensitivity rather than me trying not to laugh, but he suggested that, in looking for a job, the whole not-being-a-middle-class-white-boy thing would go well for me. I'm serious - it really hadn't occurred to me, not really. I mean, no wonder everyone says I won't have trouble finding a job. Sure, I graduated cum laude and I was on a trial team and worked in the clinic and even CALI'd a legal writing class, but...apparently I have an added edge.
I don't know that it counts, though, because I'm so colorblind to my own situation that I assumed I would have just as hard a time as my caucasian classmates. Seriously - I was raised by white people. I think of myself, essentially, as a white girl who was raised in Asia and Europe and who tans really well. This does not mean that, by any stretch of the imagination, I am not afraid of how hard it will be to get a job, and I've started applying for jobs I likely won't get just to get the rejections out of the way, but hey...I learned something new about myself.
The best part of yesterday was talking to Cody and hanging out with Angela. After I got done talking to the bishop, I called Angela and invited her over to hang out so I could teach her to make baby booties. Apparently I have lame hearing, because she offered to bring a "frozen pizza", and asked if I had a frying pan with a lid. I explained that none of my frying pans had lids and also none of them were big enough to cook a frozen pizza, and which point she said, "No, I said 'frozen beef broccoli' meal." She had the stir fry, so I went home and put on some rice (yay for being Asian enough to have a plus two to my rice cooking skill), and then she came over. We had dinner (she also brought a Dutch Apple Pie, which we put in the oven while supper cooked) and watched goofy Colin Morgan and Bradley James videos online, as well as some Improv Everywhere stuff. Once the pie was done we set it out to cool and ran to WalMart for crocheting supplies. I was faintly pleased that we had a grown-up dinner - I cleared off the center island and set the table and everything.
When we got back, we set about crocheting baby booties for Angela's friend who's going to have a baby. Amber and I had a brief text message exchange about a date she went on, and then Cody and I ended up talking, which was fun, although I felt a bit bad for busting up our conversation helping Angela, but Cody was both patient and funny about it. As it turns out, Angela is a quick study, and apparently when it comes to one-on-one crafting instruction I'm not a bad teacher, and we made it through the first two rounds with little trouble. I miss crocheting with steel hooks and fine cotton - it's much smoother than wool yarn. I'm such a girl.
On Tuesday when we talked, Cody told me about Planck and black body radiation and other shiny things he learned from reading his PChem textbook, and when we talked last night, he said he'd be doing more reading today, which means I get to learn more shiny physics tonight. Cody is baffled at how enthusiastic I am about learning what he's learning (although I'll never understand it nearly as well, due to my being mathematically challenged), but he's nice enough to share, and hey, maybe it'll help him review, right? Part of it is I like listening to his voice, and part of it is...even though I'm done with school, my mom's right, I do love to learn. So I can learn physics vicariously. Yay!
Also, on Tuesday night, I was terrified that I'd lost my gold necklace, the one with the gavel. I figured it had fallen out of my bag while I was at class, and Sensei was nice enough to search, but he didn't find it, and I wanted to cry, because it was a gift from my mom, and I searched and couldn't find it. Cody was very sweet and offered to give me back the little golden gavel I'd given him to keep on his keyring, but I told him to keep it. And then yesterday, while I was letting McSweeney into my flat, I discovered my necklace tangled up in my keyring. I don't know how I'd missed it the night before or during the day or how it had managed to stay on my keyring the entire time, but there it was. A miracle. Seriously. Because the Tuesday Night Room has already swallowed one of my necklaces, and it was much bigger than this one.
Lesson learned, though - remove all jewelry before training.
Today I am going to be productive and do more useful things, and then hopefully Angela and I will go to the movies (maybe with Xiao Qian) and then we will hang out.
...yes, I am crazy.
