Day 808: Going Away To College
Sep. 5th, 2009 11:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nagi_schwarzThe title of the song really isn't apropos for anything, but a certain snatch of lyrics from that song is: "If love is just a game then I must have missed the kick-off."
Story of my life. Missing the kick-off. But I digress. I need to backtrack.
Let's talk about...life. And what happened this week.
Wednesday was a pretty good day. I made it through classes. Okay, I was a little disgruntled at the dentist informing me that I have a cavity that will likely require a root canal. Granted, it's been three years since I've been to the dentist's office, but I brush and floss every day. I was pretty peeved. But...I made it through classes. I was especially glad to have made it through Prosecution of criminal cases. I had to give my first oral argument of the semester, a probable cause bind over hearing argument. I ran it by Dad the night before, and he said I talked too fast, and she said I talked too fast, but since I was brave and went first she (the professor) was nice to me. We had the big organization fair earlier in the day, and I'd spent all of lunch (yay free food!) doing my sales pitch for the JRCLS. I think I did pretty well - we got about twenty extra recruits who were not in the original Institute gang, which made me smile. (Yes, I know my sense of chronology sucks. It's late, and this many days after the actual events, my sense of what's important and what's not goes out the window.) After prosecution, I went down to the Institute for gaming. It was WoD, and I'm still a little shaky on the storyline, especially since all the players are neophytes (and all girls, which is kind of awesome and rare) and aren't familiar with some of my best NPCs. Still, we had a lot of fun, and I'm really glad to be GMing again. It'll take a while to get a D&D game off the ground, though.
Thursday was a pretty good day. I survived c/x-ing Mellili, which feels pretty good. I have one bad tic - repeating too much of the witness's answer during the juxtaposition slap-down - but I'm feeling pretty okay about controlling a difficult witness. I get flustered more easily than the others, which annoys me, but that's life. I just sort of hate feeling like the weakest link. I finished watching Drop Dead Diva, which I now officially love (its court scenes don't drive me batty, especially since they handle objections well), and then I started in on, I confess, Blood Ties. Which is nothing like True Blood and is more like Angel, only a mortal girl is the detective and the hot dude vampire is the sidekick. I'm not much enamored of the cinematography, and the acting isn't always great, but I like it. And that's that.
Friday was a pretty good day. Worked hard at training. Studied. Had lunch. Had lunch again on Professor Moore's dime with the FCLS presidency. He's a professor I'd never even met, so talking to him was fun. I got all my homework done for the weekend (except writing my detention hearing speech) and when I was in the library printing off cases, I ran into Will and asked if he wanted to hang out. He mostly demurred since he'd be tired after reading cases for moot court (which I totally understand), but said he might want to hang out later. I said I'd be free later after ninjitsu, since I planned on sticking around for the full three hours. Only there was no training. I was sad - I had a lot of energy to burn. Everyone who showed up had not been there last week, so I'm guessing class was cancelled for the holiday, which was fine by me. I worked on Mom's Christmas present some, and I spent a long happy hour on the drums.
Will called, and we ended up hanging out, hashing over old horror movies ('The Peanut Butter Solution', anyone?) we saw when we were kids, and we watched Serenity. Now, usually Will and I can talk all night. It's kind of a miracle, but he can keep up with and out-talk me, but I was in a really weird mood, and he seemed tired, so I walked him to his car at about one a.m. And then stayed up another two hours toasting off some Blood Ties.
This morning I didn't get out of bed till ten, which was nice. Didn't shower - just ate apples and cheese and watched Blood Ties, finished Mom's Christmas present. Then Bernadette called and said she was coming into town and could she swing by for a visit. So I showered and we talked and then I went over to Dave's for the big Cougars-Sooners game.
Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm pretty lame at football. But I wanted to be sociable, so I went. Met the new law student in Dan and Amber's ward. His name is Ben. Ate pretty awesome food, and then sat in the corner and made a Christmas bracelet for Del while the others watched the game. I watched the game, too. I just didn't have the same emotional investment all the BYU alum had. There was good food - Amber made her seven-layer dip, and some blue cheese cake (also for Dental Student Dave's birthday). It was weird watching everyone scream and shout and get all excited. Will acts like a crazy teenage girl at a Jonas Brother's concert during a BYU football game. It's pretty awesome and hellishly entertaining. But...I felt bizarre. I felt like I was brand new all over again, the shy one who sits in the corner. I'm pretty sure the new law student thinks I'm quiet, which is entertaining.
I got a message from Daniel that four of his relatives - Aunt, Uncle, two cousins - died in a plane crash in Tulsa. They were on their way to see the game that I watched on TV, and they died. He's pretty wrecked about it. I don't know what to do. He's so far away and he's hurt and...all I can do is pray.
Best I can tell, though, that's at least working.
But still. I hate seeing my friends hurt.
As for Will...I think my insanity is done. And even if it's not, I think I managed to give myself a pretty good wake-up call there. However crazy he might make me feel - and I still feel that sharp spark of a thrill whenever our eyes meet from halfway across a room - I'm staking a solid claim on my sanity that I refuse to relinquish. Also, I do remember him saying it'd never work out between him and me, and as much as it'd be fun to see him have to eat crow, well...I'm done. With that.
Like sweet Robbie says, love isn't...
In the meantime, I shall:
Story of my life. Missing the kick-off. But I digress. I need to backtrack.
Let's talk about...life. And what happened this week.
Wednesday was a pretty good day. I made it through classes. Okay, I was a little disgruntled at the dentist informing me that I have a cavity that will likely require a root canal. Granted, it's been three years since I've been to the dentist's office, but I brush and floss every day. I was pretty peeved. But...I made it through classes. I was especially glad to have made it through Prosecution of criminal cases. I had to give my first oral argument of the semester, a probable cause bind over hearing argument. I ran it by Dad the night before, and he said I talked too fast, and she said I talked too fast, but since I was brave and went first she (the professor) was nice to me. We had the big organization fair earlier in the day, and I'd spent all of lunch (yay free food!) doing my sales pitch for the JRCLS. I think I did pretty well - we got about twenty extra recruits who were not in the original Institute gang, which made me smile. (Yes, I know my sense of chronology sucks. It's late, and this many days after the actual events, my sense of what's important and what's not goes out the window.) After prosecution, I went down to the Institute for gaming. It was WoD, and I'm still a little shaky on the storyline, especially since all the players are neophytes (and all girls, which is kind of awesome and rare) and aren't familiar with some of my best NPCs. Still, we had a lot of fun, and I'm really glad to be GMing again. It'll take a while to get a D&D game off the ground, though.
Thursday was a pretty good day. I survived c/x-ing Mellili, which feels pretty good. I have one bad tic - repeating too much of the witness's answer during the juxtaposition slap-down - but I'm feeling pretty okay about controlling a difficult witness. I get flustered more easily than the others, which annoys me, but that's life. I just sort of hate feeling like the weakest link. I finished watching Drop Dead Diva, which I now officially love (its court scenes don't drive me batty, especially since they handle objections well), and then I started in on, I confess, Blood Ties. Which is nothing like True Blood and is more like Angel, only a mortal girl is the detective and the hot dude vampire is the sidekick. I'm not much enamored of the cinematography, and the acting isn't always great, but I like it. And that's that.
Friday was a pretty good day. Worked hard at training. Studied. Had lunch. Had lunch again on Professor Moore's dime with the FCLS presidency. He's a professor I'd never even met, so talking to him was fun. I got all my homework done for the weekend (except writing my detention hearing speech) and when I was in the library printing off cases, I ran into Will and asked if he wanted to hang out. He mostly demurred since he'd be tired after reading cases for moot court (which I totally understand), but said he might want to hang out later. I said I'd be free later after ninjitsu, since I planned on sticking around for the full three hours. Only there was no training. I was sad - I had a lot of energy to burn. Everyone who showed up had not been there last week, so I'm guessing class was cancelled for the holiday, which was fine by me. I worked on Mom's Christmas present some, and I spent a long happy hour on the drums.
Will called, and we ended up hanging out, hashing over old horror movies ('The Peanut Butter Solution', anyone?) we saw when we were kids, and we watched Serenity. Now, usually Will and I can talk all night. It's kind of a miracle, but he can keep up with and out-talk me, but I was in a really weird mood, and he seemed tired, so I walked him to his car at about one a.m. And then stayed up another two hours toasting off some Blood Ties.
This morning I didn't get out of bed till ten, which was nice. Didn't shower - just ate apples and cheese and watched Blood Ties, finished Mom's Christmas present. Then Bernadette called and said she was coming into town and could she swing by for a visit. So I showered and we talked and then I went over to Dave's for the big Cougars-Sooners game.
Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm pretty lame at football. But I wanted to be sociable, so I went. Met the new law student in Dan and Amber's ward. His name is Ben. Ate pretty awesome food, and then sat in the corner and made a Christmas bracelet for Del while the others watched the game. I watched the game, too. I just didn't have the same emotional investment all the BYU alum had. There was good food - Amber made her seven-layer dip, and some blue cheese cake (also for Dental Student Dave's birthday). It was weird watching everyone scream and shout and get all excited. Will acts like a crazy teenage girl at a Jonas Brother's concert during a BYU football game. It's pretty awesome and hellishly entertaining. But...I felt bizarre. I felt like I was brand new all over again, the shy one who sits in the corner. I'm pretty sure the new law student thinks I'm quiet, which is entertaining.
I got a message from Daniel that four of his relatives - Aunt, Uncle, two cousins - died in a plane crash in Tulsa. They were on their way to see the game that I watched on TV, and they died. He's pretty wrecked about it. I don't know what to do. He's so far away and he's hurt and...all I can do is pray.
Best I can tell, though, that's at least working.
But still. I hate seeing my friends hurt.
As for Will...I think my insanity is done. And even if it's not, I think I managed to give myself a pretty good wake-up call there. However crazy he might make me feel - and I still feel that sharp spark of a thrill whenever our eyes meet from halfway across a room - I'm staking a solid claim on my sanity that I refuse to relinquish. Also, I do remember him saying it'd never work out between him and me, and as much as it'd be fun to see him have to eat crow, well...I'm done. With that.
Like sweet Robbie says, love isn't...
In the meantime, I shall:
