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Day 1247: And the fails roll on
May. 17th, 2016 08:36 amSo, training last week? Was on my calendar for Wednesday through Friday. The email I got said to check in at the hotel on Thursday, but the conference started Wednesday, so I was super confused.
As it turns out, Wednesday was a pre-conference day, so I drove up the mountain for an hour for nothing, froze between the parking lot and the lobby (because it's at a ski resort and of course a ski resort in May in this state will still be freezing), and then drove back down the mountain. Sulked. Hid in an empty office at the main office in mid-county and wrote and answered emails and generally did paperwork. Went to some meetings I hadn't intended to attend (but good that I made it to them) and then went home.
Tuesday night was cub scout night, and we taught the boys basic compass orienteering, but the compass we had was pretty lame, so our measuring efforts did not yield the greatest map. We were going to have them put their new compass skills to use this week for a treasure hunt, but as it turns out it's going to rain, and taking little kids and tromping them around in the cold rain seems like a poor leadership choice, so we need a plan, well, Z.
I skipped dance class on Wednesday on account of writing like mad to get a story done in time for a deadline (deadlines are what work, it's true), and then Thursday was training. All day. Learned some really good stuff about the neuroscience of adolescence. A lot of the presentations were geared toward teachers and educators and people who are with youth full-time (usually youth in lockup no less), so it wasn't all super applicable, but it was eye-opening. Like the fact that a lot of my kids shrug and say "I don't know" when I ask them what they do for fun isn't them blowing me off but because they don't really understand hobbies, because no one in their lives has hobbies (getting high and committing crimes are not hobbies), because their worlds are typically unstable (whether or not they realize it). But my kids are capable of amazing creative endeavors (once their basic needs are met) and we should encourage them to explore their creative sides.
Lunch was tasty, but super awkward. I expected buffet but instead they had a bunch of tables laid out, and I couldn't find anyone I knew, and it was like the first day at a new high school in the cafeteria for the first time. Where to sit? I ended up sitting next to this mountain of a guy with a mohawk, and I asked him lots of questions, and he basically carried the conversation while we ate, and after the food was done I fled. Good times.
I managed to catch up with Dan, one of my friends from the office, and he and I skipped the evening social (social workers =/= social fun times per se) and got Mexican food and talked about our case loads and Dan's upcoming wedding and all the stress of planning (my wedding was surprisingly unstressful - found a venue for free to do the ceremony - because religion - and also bought my dress off of Ebay for less than a hundred bucks, and then went out for food with friends and family afterward, and it required relatively little planning other than when to be where).
And then I spent the rest of the night writing and writing and writing. On Wednesday my story took a spectacular crazy turn out of left field (which resulted in me asking one of the paralegals, "Help! I need a name for a child!" "What kind of name?" "Not the kind of name that's drug-inspired. Something upper class, white, and conservative." "George!" "I'll take that under advisement."), so I spent a good chunk of Thursday freaking out and going What have you done to me, characters?
But my friend Bru was amazing and got the beta back to me super fast and assured me that what I'd written wasn't a gordian knot of insanity but actually okay, so I posted it and moved on.
Friday wasn't so long a day for training. They put the fear of hell into us about all the shiny new drugs the kids are doing (they look like candy! Tell your tiny tots not to take candy from strangers!), how drugs have the same names now as they did when these kids' parents were kids, but different potencies and are cut with different things, so the way some parents shrug about their kids' casual drug use because they did it too is a bit ignorant, because they don't understand that their kids are using harder stuff. Also the toddlers getting nicotine poisoning because mommy and daddy can't use their e-cigs right. Oh dear.
I had a chat with a friend, asking her about some of the psychotic breaks people are suffering on suuuuuper concentrated THC (you need CBD for what's going on in your life? No judgment here) and she said, well, I don't think it should be made illegal because it goes wrong sometimes for some people. (And I nearly fired back with - wait, for reals? Because in 2014 drug ODs caused more deaths than car accidents. Just ODs. Not intoxicated driving or whatever. Straight up ODs. And car accidents? More deaths than guns. But guns, which we are constitutionally allowed to have, you want to outlaw, and drugs you do not. Whatever. /end rant)
But Friday was good. Ate lunch with some people I knew this time around. Ended with a presentation from Antwone Fisher himself, who was surprisingly soft-spoken, but funny and charming and actually inspiring. Obviously we kids need a movie night.
Training let out early, and so I headed north to meet my family for my niece's end of year dance recital. We met up at a restaurant first, my parents, my sister and her husband, her husband's parents, the kids, and we ate, and then headed over to the performance space. My niece is super adorable. We ate at a buffet, so I got to hold her hand and take her around and help her get food. She's got a pretty wide variety of tastes for a kid her age, so we went around and I asked her what she wanted and how many and we built her a pretty good haul (which she ate!). Sooo many people stopped me and told me how pretty she was, (and it's a sad sign of our society, that I was suspicious of the old white dude who said she had pretty eyes, because statistically our children are safer now, and crimes rates are much lower, than they were when we were kids). I was surprised at the oddly feminist comment my father made, which was, "People tell her she's pretty all the time, but does anyone tell her she's smart?" I tell her she's smart whenever I can, when she does something that demonstrates her intelligence. I also pointed out to my father that as she and I are wandering around the restaurant, no one can tell just by looking at her how smart she is.
The dance performance was good. We had fun. My niece is getting better every time. We had a family photo shoot afterward, and then went our separate ways.
Saturday was suuuper lazy. We lolled around the house. I wrote a whole bunch. We saw Civil War with Kip and his friend Josh (who comes to town between stints in the oil fields). Josh headed up north to see Kieran, and then Cody, Kip, and I went shooting, and then we went for pizza. I got super hopped up on caffeine, and Cody and I had a gun-cleaning party, and then he fell asleep and I was up till about 3AM doing all kinds of writing and listening to the storm rage outside.
Sunday was a chill day. Went to church. Somehow ended up teaching the five year olds in Sunday School, which was interesting. They more or less got the lesson, but coloring saved the day. (True fact: my husband colored a picture of Jesus and gave him laser eyes. Yes, that's who I married. The kids thought it was awesome. So far their parents haven't freaked out at us, so no damage done.) After church husband cooked and we had naps, and then I woke up and we wrangled laundry and I wrote and then husband woke up and I went to sleep.
Yesterday was a full day of court, plus two meetings at the end of the day. First meeting - a home visit - failed because foster mom forgot I was coming and my kid wasn't there. Between the first and second meetings I ran home, changed out of my suit, and grabbed a snack, and while I was gassing up my car for the next meeting, a caseworker called me. Case imploded. Mom relapsed after dad told her to kill herself (are you surprised? I wasn't surprised). So we had to make some emergency plans (obviously she can't be living with dad anymore) and panic a whole lot and I ended up reshuffling my Wednesday schedule to be at an emergency meeting so we can figure out what to do.
And then the final visit of the day was...urgh. My kid? Was super high. Like, obviously stoned. She had the munchies, so she made herself food, and she had the attention span of a gnat, and if she could just get clean and stay clean for six weeks, we could be out of her life. She wants us gone. There's nothing we can do to help her because she won't listen to us. She's probably dealing to keep herself afloat because she can't hold a job down (if someone pisses her off she just quits). And I get she has anxiety. But I also get the laws of this state, and if she gets caught doing what she's doing, it's not going to be pretty for her. But what would I know, right? I'm just a lawyer. Trying to have a serious conversation with someone that stoned is about as helpful as trying to have a serious conversation with a super drunk person. The caseworker and I gave up eventually and just left. We're not sure what to do. They tell us not to give up on the kids, but what do we do when the kids give up on themselves? I mean, my kid is bright. She knows how to work the system, get what she wants for minimal (and usually illegal) effort. She could do amazing things. But she chooses not to, and she's of an age where I cannot make her.
So I came home all cranky (and wrote some seriously cranky stuff all day), and then husband and I went out for food and a drive and just hung out, and we played some music together, and we watched the newest episode of the Flash and folded laundry, and now...now it's Tuesday, and I'd better face the music.
Not gonna lie - I've really just been sitting here waiting for all my mobile devices to get their software updates done before I go into the office.
As it turns out, Wednesday was a pre-conference day, so I drove up the mountain for an hour for nothing, froze between the parking lot and the lobby (because it's at a ski resort and of course a ski resort in May in this state will still be freezing), and then drove back down the mountain. Sulked. Hid in an empty office at the main office in mid-county and wrote and answered emails and generally did paperwork. Went to some meetings I hadn't intended to attend (but good that I made it to them) and then went home.
Tuesday night was cub scout night, and we taught the boys basic compass orienteering, but the compass we had was pretty lame, so our measuring efforts did not yield the greatest map. We were going to have them put their new compass skills to use this week for a treasure hunt, but as it turns out it's going to rain, and taking little kids and tromping them around in the cold rain seems like a poor leadership choice, so we need a plan, well, Z.
I skipped dance class on Wednesday on account of writing like mad to get a story done in time for a deadline (deadlines are what work, it's true), and then Thursday was training. All day. Learned some really good stuff about the neuroscience of adolescence. A lot of the presentations were geared toward teachers and educators and people who are with youth full-time (usually youth in lockup no less), so it wasn't all super applicable, but it was eye-opening. Like the fact that a lot of my kids shrug and say "I don't know" when I ask them what they do for fun isn't them blowing me off but because they don't really understand hobbies, because no one in their lives has hobbies (getting high and committing crimes are not hobbies), because their worlds are typically unstable (whether or not they realize it). But my kids are capable of amazing creative endeavors (once their basic needs are met) and we should encourage them to explore their creative sides.
Lunch was tasty, but super awkward. I expected buffet but instead they had a bunch of tables laid out, and I couldn't find anyone I knew, and it was like the first day at a new high school in the cafeteria for the first time. Where to sit? I ended up sitting next to this mountain of a guy with a mohawk, and I asked him lots of questions, and he basically carried the conversation while we ate, and after the food was done I fled. Good times.
I managed to catch up with Dan, one of my friends from the office, and he and I skipped the evening social (social workers =/= social fun times per se) and got Mexican food and talked about our case loads and Dan's upcoming wedding and all the stress of planning (my wedding was surprisingly unstressful - found a venue for free to do the ceremony - because religion - and also bought my dress off of Ebay for less than a hundred bucks, and then went out for food with friends and family afterward, and it required relatively little planning other than when to be where).
And then I spent the rest of the night writing and writing and writing. On Wednesday my story took a spectacular crazy turn out of left field (which resulted in me asking one of the paralegals, "Help! I need a name for a child!" "What kind of name?" "Not the kind of name that's drug-inspired. Something upper class, white, and conservative." "George!" "I'll take that under advisement."), so I spent a good chunk of Thursday freaking out and going What have you done to me, characters?
But my friend Bru was amazing and got the beta back to me super fast and assured me that what I'd written wasn't a gordian knot of insanity but actually okay, so I posted it and moved on.
Friday wasn't so long a day for training. They put the fear of hell into us about all the shiny new drugs the kids are doing (they look like candy! Tell your tiny tots not to take candy from strangers!), how drugs have the same names now as they did when these kids' parents were kids, but different potencies and are cut with different things, so the way some parents shrug about their kids' casual drug use because they did it too is a bit ignorant, because they don't understand that their kids are using harder stuff. Also the toddlers getting nicotine poisoning because mommy and daddy can't use their e-cigs right. Oh dear.
I had a chat with a friend, asking her about some of the psychotic breaks people are suffering on suuuuuper concentrated THC (you need CBD for what's going on in your life? No judgment here) and she said, well, I don't think it should be made illegal because it goes wrong sometimes for some people. (And I nearly fired back with - wait, for reals? Because in 2014 drug ODs caused more deaths than car accidents. Just ODs. Not intoxicated driving or whatever. Straight up ODs. And car accidents? More deaths than guns. But guns, which we are constitutionally allowed to have, you want to outlaw, and drugs you do not. Whatever. /end rant)
But Friday was good. Ate lunch with some people I knew this time around. Ended with a presentation from Antwone Fisher himself, who was surprisingly soft-spoken, but funny and charming and actually inspiring. Obviously we kids need a movie night.
Training let out early, and so I headed north to meet my family for my niece's end of year dance recital. We met up at a restaurant first, my parents, my sister and her husband, her husband's parents, the kids, and we ate, and then headed over to the performance space. My niece is super adorable. We ate at a buffet, so I got to hold her hand and take her around and help her get food. She's got a pretty wide variety of tastes for a kid her age, so we went around and I asked her what she wanted and how many and we built her a pretty good haul (which she ate!). Sooo many people stopped me and told me how pretty she was, (and it's a sad sign of our society, that I was suspicious of the old white dude who said she had pretty eyes, because statistically our children are safer now, and crimes rates are much lower, than they were when we were kids). I was surprised at the oddly feminist comment my father made, which was, "People tell her she's pretty all the time, but does anyone tell her she's smart?" I tell her she's smart whenever I can, when she does something that demonstrates her intelligence. I also pointed out to my father that as she and I are wandering around the restaurant, no one can tell just by looking at her how smart she is.
The dance performance was good. We had fun. My niece is getting better every time. We had a family photo shoot afterward, and then went our separate ways.
Saturday was suuuper lazy. We lolled around the house. I wrote a whole bunch. We saw Civil War with Kip and his friend Josh (who comes to town between stints in the oil fields). Josh headed up north to see Kieran, and then Cody, Kip, and I went shooting, and then we went for pizza. I got super hopped up on caffeine, and Cody and I had a gun-cleaning party, and then he fell asleep and I was up till about 3AM doing all kinds of writing and listening to the storm rage outside.
Sunday was a chill day. Went to church. Somehow ended up teaching the five year olds in Sunday School, which was interesting. They more or less got the lesson, but coloring saved the day. (True fact: my husband colored a picture of Jesus and gave him laser eyes. Yes, that's who I married. The kids thought it was awesome. So far their parents haven't freaked out at us, so no damage done.) After church husband cooked and we had naps, and then I woke up and we wrangled laundry and I wrote and then husband woke up and I went to sleep.
Yesterday was a full day of court, plus two meetings at the end of the day. First meeting - a home visit - failed because foster mom forgot I was coming and my kid wasn't there. Between the first and second meetings I ran home, changed out of my suit, and grabbed a snack, and while I was gassing up my car for the next meeting, a caseworker called me. Case imploded. Mom relapsed after dad told her to kill herself (are you surprised? I wasn't surprised). So we had to make some emergency plans (obviously she can't be living with dad anymore) and panic a whole lot and I ended up reshuffling my Wednesday schedule to be at an emergency meeting so we can figure out what to do.
And then the final visit of the day was...urgh. My kid? Was super high. Like, obviously stoned. She had the munchies, so she made herself food, and she had the attention span of a gnat, and if she could just get clean and stay clean for six weeks, we could be out of her life. She wants us gone. There's nothing we can do to help her because she won't listen to us. She's probably dealing to keep herself afloat because she can't hold a job down (if someone pisses her off she just quits). And I get she has anxiety. But I also get the laws of this state, and if she gets caught doing what she's doing, it's not going to be pretty for her. But what would I know, right? I'm just a lawyer. Trying to have a serious conversation with someone that stoned is about as helpful as trying to have a serious conversation with a super drunk person. The caseworker and I gave up eventually and just left. We're not sure what to do. They tell us not to give up on the kids, but what do we do when the kids give up on themselves? I mean, my kid is bright. She knows how to work the system, get what she wants for minimal (and usually illegal) effort. She could do amazing things. But she chooses not to, and she's of an age where I cannot make her.
So I came home all cranky (and wrote some seriously cranky stuff all day), and then husband and I went out for food and a drive and just hung out, and we played some music together, and we watched the newest episode of the Flash and folded laundry, and now...now it's Tuesday, and I'd better face the music.
Not gonna lie - I've really just been sitting here waiting for all my mobile devices to get their software updates done before I go into the office.
