Day 684: Miserable Human Being

This describes my last three days in three words. It's what I've turned into. On Monday I was at school from seven to seven. I kid you not. Either studying, reading, or fussing over that bugger-all appellate brief. I came home, collapsed on my sofa, and watched Heroes and My Own Worst Enemy before dragging myself off to bed. Tuesday I was at school from six to four and came home, worked on the appellate brief of all suck till past midnight (though in my defense I did pause to watch House because I needed a mental break). I overhauled the thing beyond belief this weekend and had another lovely chat with Rob at the writing center to get some help on Monday. I was a zombie this morning. I was at school from half six to six. I nearly got stepped on by Melilli and barely had the energy to say hello or good morning. I've been crabby and tired and miserable, which is pointless because I have neither a job nor a family nor law review to make my life even worse. That being said, I have basically been a mass of human misery for the past three days. Tonight I read some fun stuff (though my eyes tire of my laptop screen) and then watched some Neverwhere. I completely bollocksed up impeachment today in witness exam, but Melilli let it go, which surprised me. I got made fun of for playing D&D, but I was too tired to care. (Melilli needed a d6, I have some dice in my backpack, what can I say?)

The best part of the last few days has been my friends. I got a Halloween card from Aden and a phone call from Ericka. I found Mary Ellen on facebook and other random things that seem inconsequential but make everything better.

Today was awful because I found out that my paper was too long by three pages. So I just spent the last half an hour desperately slashing things to make sure it fit. Tomorrow is the clean-up: formatting, punctuation, last-minute checks on grammar and things, and then the table of contents and table of authorities. I don't have class until two, so I have pretty much ALL DAY to get this thing fine-tuned. I do not envy myself the chore.

But I survived. I'm going to make it to this weekend. Friday is a barbecue, and Saturday is Kent's birthday. I can spend tomorrow night slacking off school and finishing his birthday present. (Admittedly, we're getting a bit old for birthday presents, but I wanted to make this and see how it goes over as a gift.)

Today, in the midst of my misery, I seriously doubted my decision to come to law school. I'm over that now. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger. There's a reason women who emerge from law school are bulldog-tough. It's true that pretty much everyone who comes to law school is a Type A personality (on a sliding scale from Dallon to Melilli), but the hell we go through (and our professors freely admit this is academically-sanctioned hazing) makes us tough, or we drop out and cry for a week.

So people might make terrible jokes about attorneys, but joke's on them, because we can withstand mental torture.

I get to go to bed at a decent time tonight.

I love talking to my mom, because it makes me feel better. I should put stuff in the mail for her, call a friend, and go to bed.

I CAN do this.