Day 612: Feel the Impending
Apr. 20th, 2008 08:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nagi_schwarzAnd, oh boy, is it impending.
Friday was the last day of classes. Anticlimactic, in a way. My first year of law school classes (because the year is not officially done until exams are done) ended with Boo Boo the cat.
I kid you not.
Friday started off rather stressful. I had an 8 am study session for Con Law, a special review with Uncle Sean. But my car wouldn't shift. Seriously. Well, first I flipped out because I'd lost my ID, without which I cannot get into the parking lot, eat, and other random things. Then the car wouldn't shift. It took some creative thinking, and I was impressed at myself for solving it so quickly. I ran back up to my flat, grabbed the spare key, jammed it into the shift lock unlock thing, and peeled out of the garage for school. Made it barely in time for the review.
At lunch, I was the only girl for the new JRCLS board meeting. Professor Andrus took us out for an orientation lunch. At the basement of one of the dorms is a seriously swanky restaurant. I wonder if all the rich kids live in that dorm or something, because seriously, who has a four-star restaurant in the basement of a dorm building? But it was good food. We talked, the "mantle shifted," as Rich put it, and we learned of our new duties. Also, we learned that Rich is good at doing impressions of everyone. It's uncanny. His impressions of Whitten were probably the best.
Property - no review. Just the case about Boo Boo the cat. Which I didn't read. We started off the year with the nameless fox fera naturae and ended with Boo Boo the cat. It was our professor's way of coming full circle.
Afterwards I went home and slept. I was a nervous wreck. I got to talk to Chani, Sei, and BenTen on Thursday night and was up a bit later than I ought to have been, given that it was a school night, but I wanted to hear their voices.
On Thursday, White gave us a good-bye speech. Contrary to the beliefs of the mentors, she didn't hate our class. And I think Professor Watts got a bit choked up at the end of lecture on Friday. After all, we were his inaugural class at Creighton. I guess he liked us.
Friday night was temple night, which is always very awesome. Afterwards I went to Jessie and Amber's place. We ordered pizza from Pizza Hut. Amber read to us from the Harlequin novel after which she was named. We played lots of Guitar Hero - and Amber caught on quick - and lots of Sing Star. Good times. I was home before four a.m.
Saturday I met up with Sylvia at the Panera's on Saddle Creek an we studied Civ Pro. From eleven to four, with a couple of short breaks for food and drinks. I came back to my place after that, slept a bit, then woke up and did more Civ Pro. At the end of it all, I felt like I hadn't accomplished a thing and that I didn't know a thing, although reviewing with Sylvia helped me realize that I really did learn something, whether or not I noticed it the first go round. I was a doofus and watched "The Haunted Airman" on YouTube, because by some miracle the whole thing is up there now. Yeah, it was nothing like the book. At all. But worth it to watch because I was feeling lame and needed a little bishonen pick-me-up. The coolest thing that night was talking to Schu on Skype. I got to see Farf (if briefly, and also in a dress that was a very fetching shade of green) and we chatted for a long time, over an hour. It was awesome to finally hear her voice. I'm hoping to go to an anime con with her, the rest of Schwarz, and maybe even Weiss this summer.
Today was a good day. I slept in, but that was all right. I was very manful and fixed my malfunctioning toilet all by myself and without a plumber. (All right - I confess. It was sheer dumb luck due to experimentation and I'm lucky the bathroom didn't flood. But I did it.) Church was great - Dustin talked, which was interesting to see. Poor guy was nervous. Weirdest thing ever was seeing him get choked up about his brother. (They served their missions at the same time in Japan, but in different places, and so didn't see each other for two years.) He got choked up enough that Trevor asked me, in a low, cautious voice, if Dustin's brother had died. I had to explain that Dustin's brother was merely married and living in another state, possibly far away. I suppose if I hadn't known such things I, too, would have thought Dustin's brother was dead.
I was a dork face and scored lots of chocolate in Relief Society, because Beverly was bribing us to answer questions with some Hershey's chocolate (called 'Bliss', I think) that I'd never seen before but was very good. I loved the blue-wrapped kind with almonds, because I love almonds. All during the lesson and I made foil hearts.
After church, a young man named Matt was baptized. (And next weekend, Trevor and Justin are getting baptized, Trevor on Saturday, Justin on Sunday, and I'm speaking at Justin's baptism. I'm excited!) He had to get dunked three times (by Ryan the 2L who looked flustered, possibly because he only knows the prayer in Portuguese) because the font wasn't filled nearly enough and also because someone forgot to tell him to bend his knees. But it was awesome. Afterwards we lingered in the hallways and had cookies. I gave out my foil hearts, because it was silly to keep them.
Although one day I will make a load of foil hearts and then one day prowl through the library at school and leave them in random books. Perhaps with notes on them that say "give this to the one you love." Who knows.
I talked with Jessie, who is very sympathetic about my first exam tomorrow (Civ Pro, oh no!) and she told me that she's excited about oral argument in court. Only lawyers, eh? But hey, she's good at what she does, and if she's passionate about it, more power to her.
Usually I don't remember my dreams. Lately I have been remembering them, or some of them. I blame it on the stress of finals. It was Wednesday morning, maybe Thursday. I'd awakened once already to shut off my alarm clock. And then I fell back asleep. In the nine minutes between assault on the alarm clock and its snooze going off, I had a nightmare. It felt as if I'd had the nightmare before, that this was just a continuation of the story. I was with friends inside a building, one of the old creaky houses from the carnival/nightmare level of Gauntlet: Dark Legacy. (I know. Too many video games.) And we were playing hide and seek or something in this house, had to hide from the bad guy, whoever he was. But he could walk through walls, and trap us in a room. We were locked in a room, and we were hiding, but I could see, just through crack in the door, a shadow gliding (not walking - it was unnatural) down the stairs outside the door, coming toward us. And then the snooze alarm went off and woke me up, but I was scared out of my wits. It stuck with me all morning.
Then the dream last night...it was all kinds of bizarre. I don't remember where we were or why. I do remember that it was a village in the mountains, reminiscent of that village we stayed in, in the Italian Alps when I was a kid. I remember the cobblestone paths, the stone walls, and the arches of an Italian piazza. I don't know who I was with, just that they were friends. I was staying in a room of my own. I had to go somewhere, down the hill a ways, to get something, deliver something, take a message - I don't know. It was pretty mundane. And so I went. And I ran into Moe. As in, Moe from church. Nice guy, dental student, engaged to a nice girl. He's an all-around good guy, and I'm not attracted to him at all, seriously. But in my dream, it was weird. I was...well...in love isn't necessarily the right phrase, I guess. But I cared about him a lot, and missed him when he was gone, and was glad when he was back, and was basically mindless when we kissed. (Which was a lot. And it was, admittedly, kinda hot.) And randomly we got busted up by Schu and a nameless friend. She brought me an iPod thing that could hook up to a TV, and also some speakers that went with it, so I could watch stuff on my iPod on a huge TV with good sound. Random visit from Schu, but it made me smile nonetheless. I don't remember the rest of the dream. Mostly I remember Moe, talking to him in the shadows of one of the archways of the piazza. I remember the light brown suede of his jacket, and the way it felt when he held me. (I also remember the weird movie Schu and friend showed me on the iPod. It involved a dude painted like the easter bunny. What can I say? It was a dream.) When I woke up, I was totally weirded out. I mean, it was Moe. Who I know is engaged. Who I hadn't even seen in a while - the last time I'd seen him was to ask for my confirmation date so I could sign onto the new family search website. It was weird, because usually when I dream about guys, they're guys I honestly like. Moe was totally random, and I couldn't figure it out. I just let it go, because I had things to think about, like the busted toilet, and student loans, and other things. I let the dream go, because it was Sunday, and I was off to church. Sat in the usual pew with Justin, Matt, Trevor, and Halley. Well, Halley loosely, because she sits on the end as she's the chorister and needs to head up to the stand for songs. I had my journal all ready open to take notes, and I was asking Trevor how vet school was going, and who should sit beside me but Moe? Someone asked if he could sit beside me, and I said sure, and he misheard me, asking if anyone was sitting there, so I turned to look at him to tell him it was all right, and it was Moe. I almost died on the spot. I hadn't seen him for over a month, and he picked this Sunday, of all Sundays, to sit next to me? Usually the ward clerk sits in the back so he can do a head count. I couldn't look at him - didn't look at him the entire time - and I tried to talk to him only minimally, asking about my confirmation date. When Zach corralled him into blessing the sacrament, I thought, well, there's half an hour I won't be sitting next to him. And the after the sacrament was passed he came back only briefly, and I thought he was going to sit somewhere else after all for the rest of the meeting, but nope - he came right back and sat next to me. He smiled all friendly-like and was apologetic about not getting the information to me sooner, and asked me about law school, so I was polite about asking about dental school, and the whole time I was sure he could read my mind and knew I was seriously freaked out. Sometimes my dreams have weird ways of messing with me, but this was a whole new level. I'm pretty sure Moe won't notice if I avoid him a bit, though. I don't even like Moe, seriously. It's a bit foolishly, but all my chicks have been counted, and I've pretty much set my mind - if not yet my heart and soul - on one course, and Moe most definitely isn't it. I even made a point to ask about his fiancee. Gack. That was so weird. It's the stress - it's driving me insane. Maybe the dream was a subliminal message to ask about that confirmation date. It had a weird way of working out, though. I really need to just stop dreaming, I think. At least till finals are done.
I love Sundays, not just because it's the sabbath and all that good stuff, but because I get to talk to people. I got to talk to Mom and Dad. I got to talk to Justin, and I always like talking to Justin. All week, as I'm going about my days, I wait for things to happen, fun things or quirky things that I can tell him about, or something happens and I think to myself, "I should tell Justin about this on Sunday." Best of all, though, I got to talk to Logan. He left a voicemail on my cellphone, probably while I was asleep, or possibly in the shower, and by the time I'd realized he'd called he was asleep. But he called me back tonight, and I got to hear his voice. I called Sei on Thursday to hear someone's voice, someone from the Pack, and also I wanted to talk to Sei because she is Magic and helps me feel better and write. Hearing their voices makes me feel okay again, centered, sane, even though when I was with them sometimes I was at my most insane. And I got to talk to Logan. He was helpful and encouraging about law school. We talked about life - school, work, making grown-up decisions about moving out and moving on and moving up. It was just good to hear from him. There were confessions, concessions, laughter, and moments of honest sympathy. Hearing from him also meant that hey, every now and again my letters mean something and that all that writing isn't in vain. I miss everyone at home so much. That's one of the things that's helping me make it through finals - if I finish, I can go home.
I'll make it.
Watch me.
Friday was the last day of classes. Anticlimactic, in a way. My first year of law school classes (because the year is not officially done until exams are done) ended with Boo Boo the cat.
I kid you not.
Friday started off rather stressful. I had an 8 am study session for Con Law, a special review with Uncle Sean. But my car wouldn't shift. Seriously. Well, first I flipped out because I'd lost my ID, without which I cannot get into the parking lot, eat, and other random things. Then the car wouldn't shift. It took some creative thinking, and I was impressed at myself for solving it so quickly. I ran back up to my flat, grabbed the spare key, jammed it into the shift lock unlock thing, and peeled out of the garage for school. Made it barely in time for the review.
At lunch, I was the only girl for the new JRCLS board meeting. Professor Andrus took us out for an orientation lunch. At the basement of one of the dorms is a seriously swanky restaurant. I wonder if all the rich kids live in that dorm or something, because seriously, who has a four-star restaurant in the basement of a dorm building? But it was good food. We talked, the "mantle shifted," as Rich put it, and we learned of our new duties. Also, we learned that Rich is good at doing impressions of everyone. It's uncanny. His impressions of Whitten were probably the best.
Property - no review. Just the case about Boo Boo the cat. Which I didn't read. We started off the year with the nameless fox fera naturae and ended with Boo Boo the cat. It was our professor's way of coming full circle.
Afterwards I went home and slept. I was a nervous wreck. I got to talk to Chani, Sei, and BenTen on Thursday night and was up a bit later than I ought to have been, given that it was a school night, but I wanted to hear their voices.
On Thursday, White gave us a good-bye speech. Contrary to the beliefs of the mentors, she didn't hate our class. And I think Professor Watts got a bit choked up at the end of lecture on Friday. After all, we were his inaugural class at Creighton. I guess he liked us.
Friday night was temple night, which is always very awesome. Afterwards I went to Jessie and Amber's place. We ordered pizza from Pizza Hut. Amber read to us from the Harlequin novel after which she was named. We played lots of Guitar Hero - and Amber caught on quick - and lots of Sing Star. Good times. I was home before four a.m.
Saturday I met up with Sylvia at the Panera's on Saddle Creek an we studied Civ Pro. From eleven to four, with a couple of short breaks for food and drinks. I came back to my place after that, slept a bit, then woke up and did more Civ Pro. At the end of it all, I felt like I hadn't accomplished a thing and that I didn't know a thing, although reviewing with Sylvia helped me realize that I really did learn something, whether or not I noticed it the first go round. I was a doofus and watched "The Haunted Airman" on YouTube, because by some miracle the whole thing is up there now. Yeah, it was nothing like the book. At all. But worth it to watch because I was feeling lame and needed a little bishonen pick-me-up. The coolest thing that night was talking to Schu on Skype. I got to see Farf (if briefly, and also in a dress that was a very fetching shade of green) and we chatted for a long time, over an hour. It was awesome to finally hear her voice. I'm hoping to go to an anime con with her, the rest of Schwarz, and maybe even Weiss this summer.
Today was a good day. I slept in, but that was all right. I was very manful and fixed my malfunctioning toilet all by myself and without a plumber. (All right - I confess. It was sheer dumb luck due to experimentation and I'm lucky the bathroom didn't flood. But I did it.) Church was great - Dustin talked, which was interesting to see. Poor guy was nervous. Weirdest thing ever was seeing him get choked up about his brother. (They served their missions at the same time in Japan, but in different places, and so didn't see each other for two years.) He got choked up enough that Trevor asked me, in a low, cautious voice, if Dustin's brother had died. I had to explain that Dustin's brother was merely married and living in another state, possibly far away. I suppose if I hadn't known such things I, too, would have thought Dustin's brother was dead.
I was a dork face and scored lots of chocolate in Relief Society, because Beverly was bribing us to answer questions with some Hershey's chocolate (called 'Bliss', I think) that I'd never seen before but was very good. I loved the blue-wrapped kind with almonds, because I love almonds. All during the lesson and I made foil hearts.
After church, a young man named Matt was baptized. (And next weekend, Trevor and Justin are getting baptized, Trevor on Saturday, Justin on Sunday, and I'm speaking at Justin's baptism. I'm excited!) He had to get dunked three times (by Ryan the 2L who looked flustered, possibly because he only knows the prayer in Portuguese) because the font wasn't filled nearly enough and also because someone forgot to tell him to bend his knees. But it was awesome. Afterwards we lingered in the hallways and had cookies. I gave out my foil hearts, because it was silly to keep them.
Although one day I will make a load of foil hearts and then one day prowl through the library at school and leave them in random books. Perhaps with notes on them that say "give this to the one you love." Who knows.
I talked with Jessie, who is very sympathetic about my first exam tomorrow (Civ Pro, oh no!) and she told me that she's excited about oral argument in court. Only lawyers, eh? But hey, she's good at what she does, and if she's passionate about it, more power to her.
Usually I don't remember my dreams. Lately I have been remembering them, or some of them. I blame it on the stress of finals. It was Wednesday morning, maybe Thursday. I'd awakened once already to shut off my alarm clock. And then I fell back asleep. In the nine minutes between assault on the alarm clock and its snooze going off, I had a nightmare. It felt as if I'd had the nightmare before, that this was just a continuation of the story. I was with friends inside a building, one of the old creaky houses from the carnival/nightmare level of Gauntlet: Dark Legacy. (I know. Too many video games.) And we were playing hide and seek or something in this house, had to hide from the bad guy, whoever he was. But he could walk through walls, and trap us in a room. We were locked in a room, and we were hiding, but I could see, just through crack in the door, a shadow gliding (not walking - it was unnatural) down the stairs outside the door, coming toward us. And then the snooze alarm went off and woke me up, but I was scared out of my wits. It stuck with me all morning.
Then the dream last night...it was all kinds of bizarre. I don't remember where we were or why. I do remember that it was a village in the mountains, reminiscent of that village we stayed in, in the Italian Alps when I was a kid. I remember the cobblestone paths, the stone walls, and the arches of an Italian piazza. I don't know who I was with, just that they were friends. I was staying in a room of my own. I had to go somewhere, down the hill a ways, to get something, deliver something, take a message - I don't know. It was pretty mundane. And so I went. And I ran into Moe. As in, Moe from church. Nice guy, dental student, engaged to a nice girl. He's an all-around good guy, and I'm not attracted to him at all, seriously. But in my dream, it was weird. I was...well...in love isn't necessarily the right phrase, I guess. But I cared about him a lot, and missed him when he was gone, and was glad when he was back, and was basically mindless when we kissed. (Which was a lot. And it was, admittedly, kinda hot.) And randomly we got busted up by Schu and a nameless friend. She brought me an iPod thing that could hook up to a TV, and also some speakers that went with it, so I could watch stuff on my iPod on a huge TV with good sound. Random visit from Schu, but it made me smile nonetheless. I don't remember the rest of the dream. Mostly I remember Moe, talking to him in the shadows of one of the archways of the piazza. I remember the light brown suede of his jacket, and the way it felt when he held me. (I also remember the weird movie Schu and friend showed me on the iPod. It involved a dude painted like the easter bunny. What can I say? It was a dream.) When I woke up, I was totally weirded out. I mean, it was Moe. Who I know is engaged. Who I hadn't even seen in a while - the last time I'd seen him was to ask for my confirmation date so I could sign onto the new family search website. It was weird, because usually when I dream about guys, they're guys I honestly like. Moe was totally random, and I couldn't figure it out. I just let it go, because I had things to think about, like the busted toilet, and student loans, and other things. I let the dream go, because it was Sunday, and I was off to church. Sat in the usual pew with Justin, Matt, Trevor, and Halley. Well, Halley loosely, because she sits on the end as she's the chorister and needs to head up to the stand for songs. I had my journal all ready open to take notes, and I was asking Trevor how vet school was going, and who should sit beside me but Moe? Someone asked if he could sit beside me, and I said sure, and he misheard me, asking if anyone was sitting there, so I turned to look at him to tell him it was all right, and it was Moe. I almost died on the spot. I hadn't seen him for over a month, and he picked this Sunday, of all Sundays, to sit next to me? Usually the ward clerk sits in the back so he can do a head count. I couldn't look at him - didn't look at him the entire time - and I tried to talk to him only minimally, asking about my confirmation date. When Zach corralled him into blessing the sacrament, I thought, well, there's half an hour I won't be sitting next to him. And the after the sacrament was passed he came back only briefly, and I thought he was going to sit somewhere else after all for the rest of the meeting, but nope - he came right back and sat next to me. He smiled all friendly-like and was apologetic about not getting the information to me sooner, and asked me about law school, so I was polite about asking about dental school, and the whole time I was sure he could read my mind and knew I was seriously freaked out. Sometimes my dreams have weird ways of messing with me, but this was a whole new level. I'm pretty sure Moe won't notice if I avoid him a bit, though. I don't even like Moe, seriously. It's a bit foolishly, but all my chicks have been counted, and I've pretty much set my mind - if not yet my heart and soul - on one course, and Moe most definitely isn't it. I even made a point to ask about his fiancee. Gack. That was so weird. It's the stress - it's driving me insane. Maybe the dream was a subliminal message to ask about that confirmation date. It had a weird way of working out, though. I really need to just stop dreaming, I think. At least till finals are done.
I love Sundays, not just because it's the sabbath and all that good stuff, but because I get to talk to people. I got to talk to Mom and Dad. I got to talk to Justin, and I always like talking to Justin. All week, as I'm going about my days, I wait for things to happen, fun things or quirky things that I can tell him about, or something happens and I think to myself, "I should tell Justin about this on Sunday." Best of all, though, I got to talk to Logan. He left a voicemail on my cellphone, probably while I was asleep, or possibly in the shower, and by the time I'd realized he'd called he was asleep. But he called me back tonight, and I got to hear his voice. I called Sei on Thursday to hear someone's voice, someone from the Pack, and also I wanted to talk to Sei because she is Magic and helps me feel better and write. Hearing their voices makes me feel okay again, centered, sane, even though when I was with them sometimes I was at my most insane. And I got to talk to Logan. He was helpful and encouraging about law school. We talked about life - school, work, making grown-up decisions about moving out and moving on and moving up. It was just good to hear from him. There were confessions, concessions, laughter, and moments of honest sympathy. Hearing from him also meant that hey, every now and again my letters mean something and that all that writing isn't in vain. I miss everyone at home so much. That's one of the things that's helping me make it through finals - if I finish, I can go home.
I'll make it.
Watch me.
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Vous êtes l'autre moitié de mon âme!
Date: 2008-04-21 05:42 pm (UTC)