Day 1073: So this is growing up.
May. 12th, 2013 06:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nagi_schwarzThis week was pretty good, all things being equal. We played music, we gamed, and I got new, spiffy shirts at work (with the work logo on them, so we look more professional). We managed to meet some work goals that were pretty important, and I had a good time dancing. I broke the 30k barrier on this big bang story I really intended to be a mini-bang, because that's who I am. And I'm still not finished the the story. Oh dear. (And I still haven't started on the edits or, you know, the novel I'm meant to be working on.)
Friday night we went to see the Piano Guys live on BYU-I's campus. They were amazing. It's sad that it's strange that a thousand-odd twenty-somethings can spend their Friday night rocking out to a piano and a cello (and an awesome comedic duo, to boot). The musical was beautiful, and those men are amazingly talented musicians. Probably the coolest part was the electric cello, which could record a part and then the cellist could add a new part over it. He had a cello made of carbon fibers, which made the coolest percussion sounds. After the concert we had ice cream with my girl Cory and her husband. The ice cream was super tasty, but having just ice cream for dinner? Was a bad idea.
Saturday was a massively busy day, because we went house shopping Like grown-ups. Saw four houses, and liked the first one. So...we're going to put in an offer. It's in kind of a rural town, and it's a little smaller than we originally thought, but where it's just the two of us, we really don't need that much space. I am pretty darn nervous about all this, but we're going to do it. We drove down and back all in one day, then spent the rest of the day hanging out, gaming and being nerds.
Today I got up early, finished the laundry, did the dishes, baked cookies, and got ready to teach Sunday School.
And then this.
Let us very be clear.
I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
If you read this and then call me, ask me how the weather is, or how awesome Crowley's final monologue was in last week's episode of SPN.
But seriously? Just don't. Once I get this out of my system, I can go back to crocheting and enjoying cool new TV shows on Netflix and contemplating eating rice.
So it's mother's day today. At church they talked about motherhood, and the little kids sang to all the mothers, and usually they have the women stick around, whether they're mothers or not, while the youth give them flowers. Last year it was just awkward, because I was all of six months married and, frankly, nobody's mother. No matter how much they like to say Mother's Day is about all women, the fact remains if you're not a mom? The day's kinda awkward. Me? Not having a good day.
I ended up hiding in a bathroom stall crying so hard I threw up. And then I told Cody I was feeling sick, would he take me home, and here I am.
Because today was going to be my first mother's day, and it's not.
And that? Was not something I'd expected to realize today.
I'm not mad at God, or fate, or anyone else. No one did this to me. It just is. For a good long while I've been pretty okay, but today was kinda rough. And I decided I'd rather spend it alone.
Friday night we went to see the Piano Guys live on BYU-I's campus. They were amazing. It's sad that it's strange that a thousand-odd twenty-somethings can spend their Friday night rocking out to a piano and a cello (and an awesome comedic duo, to boot). The musical was beautiful, and those men are amazingly talented musicians. Probably the coolest part was the electric cello, which could record a part and then the cellist could add a new part over it. He had a cello made of carbon fibers, which made the coolest percussion sounds. After the concert we had ice cream with my girl Cory and her husband. The ice cream was super tasty, but having just ice cream for dinner? Was a bad idea.
Saturday was a massively busy day, because we went house shopping Like grown-ups. Saw four houses, and liked the first one. So...we're going to put in an offer. It's in kind of a rural town, and it's a little smaller than we originally thought, but where it's just the two of us, we really don't need that much space. I am pretty darn nervous about all this, but we're going to do it. We drove down and back all in one day, then spent the rest of the day hanging out, gaming and being nerds.
Today I got up early, finished the laundry, did the dishes, baked cookies, and got ready to teach Sunday School.
And then this.
Let us very be clear.
I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
If you read this and then call me, ask me how the weather is, or how awesome Crowley's final monologue was in last week's episode of SPN.
But seriously? Just don't. Once I get this out of my system, I can go back to crocheting and enjoying cool new TV shows on Netflix and contemplating eating rice.
So it's mother's day today. At church they talked about motherhood, and the little kids sang to all the mothers, and usually they have the women stick around, whether they're mothers or not, while the youth give them flowers. Last year it was just awkward, because I was all of six months married and, frankly, nobody's mother. No matter how much they like to say Mother's Day is about all women, the fact remains if you're not a mom? The day's kinda awkward. Me? Not having a good day.
I ended up hiding in a bathroom stall crying so hard I threw up. And then I told Cody I was feeling sick, would he take me home, and here I am.
Because today was going to be my first mother's day, and it's not.
And that? Was not something I'd expected to realize today.
I'm not mad at God, or fate, or anyone else. No one did this to me. It just is. For a good long while I've been pretty okay, but today was kinda rough. And I decided I'd rather spend it alone.
