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Day 1142: Caring about other people
Nov. 2nd, 2014 09:39 pmIs sometimes like bashing your head against a brick wall. Repeatedly. You put effort and strength into it, but nothing changes (other than the rapidly increasing pain in your skull). Last week began badly, with a call on a Sunday.
My final meeting on Friday made me want to scream (and I still need to send in my notes for that). Two of my runaways were picked up and delivered to DT on the same day, and after talking to the last of them, I wanted to go home and pull my hair out.
So, bad things this week: well, there was the whole incident on Sunday that began with a man beating the crap out of his toddlers and ended with a police standoff. One of my moms relapsed and got arrested and we have to take her kids again. One girl had never made it home to her, one girl had been removed once prior, and the boy had been removed twice prior. We're not sending them back after this go round, I don't think. Another mom is facing some serious criminal charges and her kids are spiraling downward and her boyfriend is back to stalking us at court so he can get what he wants, which meant I had to go digging around at a school to investigate. (We're supposed to do independent investigations. Good times.) Another mom relapsed and was in ridiculous denial about it. I made her cry. I felt terribly, viciously glad when she got sentenced to jail. Dingo and Ivy ran from the yard on Wednesday night. I thought maybe I'd left the gate open, but as it turns out if they body slam the gate just right it pops open, and they ran. We drove all around, and Cody said it was pointless, because we never find them by driving around, but this time we did. I'm glad. By the time we'd found them I was ready to puke with worry.
Good things this week: I finished what has been published of The Lunar Chronicles. Burned through them. So worth it. But between now and Christmas I really, really need to get with the gift crafting, so I am going to spend every free moment at home crocheting. Free moments at work, however, will be spent writing, because I was a moron and I signed up for the SPN RBB and this morning we claimed our prompts and I am so, so excited. I know, signing up for a big bang in the middle of the Christmas Crafting season and when all my other friends are busy getting real books published is crazy, but I don't care. I'm excited. All week for Halloween I dressed up as a different Harry Potter Hogwarts student. Monday I was a Slytherin. Tuesday I skipped because I was on the road all day for meetings. Wednesday I was a Hufflepuff. Thursday I was a Gryffindor. And Friday I was a Ravenclaw, which, despite my being a lawyer, is the house that represents me best. I had a lot of fun with it, and it made some of my colleagues smile, so that's what counts. Friday night, Cody and I went to BenTen's husband's birthday celebration (his birthday is on Halloween), where we had tacos and nachos, played some Savage Worlds, and then scoured the neighborhood for an escaped cat. (If this is how bad I feel after a pet is on the loose, how will I feel when a kid of my own is on the loose? Oh dear.)
I missed my mom this week, having no one to talk to after work. Cuddling with puppies is fine and good, but it's not the same. Cody and I finished fixing the plumbing and spent a good chunk of Saturday filling in the hole he'd dug to effectuate the repairs. We continue with this insane church choir venture (seriously, we're both pretty lousy singers, but apparently not so bad anyone has noticed?), and also we are getting serious with our musical venture, serious enough to convince one of the teenage boys at church to be our guitarist
This daylight savings thing is for the birds. I have ten hearings tomorrow, and Tuesday is my anniversary, but I have to work late because one of my adorable kids thought it would be an awesome idea to attempt to seduce a foster parent, and we need to have an emergency meeting about this very poor choice
I continue to receive weekly calls from my orphan.
As crazy as last week was, I am feeling strangely okay about my life. Maybe I'm just still giddy about this Big Bang thing.
Sometimes I feel disingenuous about how much I worry about my kids, because I'm paid to worry about them, but in order to be a functioning professional I have to be able to turn it off when I'm off the clock. It doesn't really work that way, as my mother well knows from our nightly phone calls. But I do worry about my kids. And I care about them. But by 5 PM on Friday, I was done with all the kids ever, especially the teenagers. The hardest thing about caring about other people is caring about them when they no longer do.
My final meeting on Friday made me want to scream (and I still need to send in my notes for that). Two of my runaways were picked up and delivered to DT on the same day, and after talking to the last of them, I wanted to go home and pull my hair out.
So, bad things this week: well, there was the whole incident on Sunday that began with a man beating the crap out of his toddlers and ended with a police standoff. One of my moms relapsed and got arrested and we have to take her kids again. One girl had never made it home to her, one girl had been removed once prior, and the boy had been removed twice prior. We're not sending them back after this go round, I don't think. Another mom is facing some serious criminal charges and her kids are spiraling downward and her boyfriend is back to stalking us at court so he can get what he wants, which meant I had to go digging around at a school to investigate. (We're supposed to do independent investigations. Good times.) Another mom relapsed and was in ridiculous denial about it. I made her cry. I felt terribly, viciously glad when she got sentenced to jail. Dingo and Ivy ran from the yard on Wednesday night. I thought maybe I'd left the gate open, but as it turns out if they body slam the gate just right it pops open, and they ran. We drove all around, and Cody said it was pointless, because we never find them by driving around, but this time we did. I'm glad. By the time we'd found them I was ready to puke with worry.
Good things this week: I finished what has been published of The Lunar Chronicles. Burned through them. So worth it. But between now and Christmas I really, really need to get with the gift crafting, so I am going to spend every free moment at home crocheting. Free moments at work, however, will be spent writing, because I was a moron and I signed up for the SPN RBB and this morning we claimed our prompts and I am so, so excited. I know, signing up for a big bang in the middle of the Christmas Crafting season and when all my other friends are busy getting real books published is crazy, but I don't care. I'm excited. All week for Halloween I dressed up as a different Harry Potter Hogwarts student. Monday I was a Slytherin. Tuesday I skipped because I was on the road all day for meetings. Wednesday I was a Hufflepuff. Thursday I was a Gryffindor. And Friday I was a Ravenclaw, which, despite my being a lawyer, is the house that represents me best. I had a lot of fun with it, and it made some of my colleagues smile, so that's what counts. Friday night, Cody and I went to BenTen's husband's birthday celebration (his birthday is on Halloween), where we had tacos and nachos, played some Savage Worlds, and then scoured the neighborhood for an escaped cat. (If this is how bad I feel after a pet is on the loose, how will I feel when a kid of my own is on the loose? Oh dear.)
I missed my mom this week, having no one to talk to after work. Cuddling with puppies is fine and good, but it's not the same. Cody and I finished fixing the plumbing and spent a good chunk of Saturday filling in the hole he'd dug to effectuate the repairs. We continue with this insane church choir venture (seriously, we're both pretty lousy singers, but apparently not so bad anyone has noticed?), and also we are getting serious with our musical venture, serious enough to convince one of the teenage boys at church to be our guitarist
This daylight savings thing is for the birds. I have ten hearings tomorrow, and Tuesday is my anniversary, but I have to work late because one of my adorable kids thought it would be an awesome idea to attempt to seduce a foster parent, and we need to have an emergency meeting about this very poor choice
I continue to receive weekly calls from my orphan.
As crazy as last week was, I am feeling strangely okay about my life. Maybe I'm just still giddy about this Big Bang thing.
Sometimes I feel disingenuous about how much I worry about my kids, because I'm paid to worry about them, but in order to be a functioning professional I have to be able to turn it off when I'm off the clock. It doesn't really work that way, as my mother well knows from our nightly phone calls. But I do worry about my kids. And I care about them. But by 5 PM on Friday, I was done with all the kids ever, especially the teenagers. The hardest thing about caring about other people is caring about them when they no longer do.
