Day 1099: Clear-headed

There's a lot to say for having a clean house. I have heard all the feminist arguments about how it's terribly unfair that most of the housecleaning is done by the woman even if she makes more than her husband or works more hours than her husband. I have heard the arguments about how we assume a home's appearance is a woman's work, that if the house is clean she is praised even if he cleaned it, and how it's messy she's blamed even if she works more hours than her spouse. I've heard men don't like to do housework because as a task it's not really rewarded and men prefer to do tasks that come with tangible rewards, be it praise or verbal thanks or what have you. (Seriously, kids, how often did you thank whoever was responsible for the house being clean? Mum. I've love your. We often tease you about the cleanliness of our childhood home being a sign of neuroticism, and we learned that from our Dad, and that was really unfair. You keep a beautiful home, and I'm grateful we always had a clean one.)

I got the house clean this week. Not just I managed to scrub it, but I got it clean. Scrubbed it. Vacuumed it. Dusted it. Cleared the detritus off the kitchen counters that had been silently building up and encroaching on the space I need to prepare meals. Did the laundry. Manage to clear the floor of all the wake of my puppy's destruction, because now her big-dog teeth have come in and she likes to chew her way through everything. And despite me fretting about it after work one night, when I finally did all the heavy cleaning, I got it done in a couple of hours. Our house isn't large, but it is easily twice the size of the flat we lived in when we were first married. I got the cleaning all done in one night, and the laundry all done in another night, and it meant that for the rest of the week, I could actually enjoy myself in the evenings. Having a clean living space is psychologically freeing. I loved that I could go to bed early and sleep in a bit in the mornings and take naps on the weekends. All in all, it's been a good week.

Of course, it has started snowing like mad. I was so surprised that it hadn't snowed by Thanksgiving, and Sunday was a lovely warm day, so naturally when I woke up on Monday it was snowing, and it didn't stop snowing till after Cody came home after seven. Ivy proved she is half husky by going out and running around in the snow. She likes the snow well enough in small snatches, and for the entire week she's been demanding to be let out - and then let right back in after five minutes. When she was out there, though, she roamed all over the yard. For most of Monday the yard was Christmas-card perfect, but by the end of the week it was covered in puppy tracks. On Saturday Devin the dog trainer suggested we get Ivy a coat so she can play outside for longer, because while me having to run up and down the stairs every five minutes to let her in or out is good exercise (at least it was till I tripped and sprained my ankle), it's kind of annoying. If the jacket doesn't work, maybe her paws are getting cold, so we'll invest in some doggie snow booties for her. The roads have been slick and the sidewalks are treacherous when we go for walks and it was snowing hard on Saturday night when we thought we'd take a quick trip to the tool shop for Cody, so that quick trip ended up taking nearly an hour. On Wednesday it snowed super hard in Idaho and knocked out the power at the office, so most of that work day was a bust, but that was okay because I had a doctor appointment that day anyway.

And...wow. Went to the doctor. And guess what, world? I'M NOT BROKEN. So I've been unable to have a kid for the oh, six months we've been trying. Not a disaster. Yeah, I miscarried (and, okay, I started crying about that in the doctor's office when we talked about it, and I listened to Yellowcard's Ten a whole lot after that and cried some more, and then I cried when Kevin Tran died and kept crying about that the rest of the night), but as it turns out I'm physically fine and it'll happen when it'll happen. So...HA! Stop giving me lectures about all the things I need to do to have a kid. I know what I need to do to have a kid. And I do it, thanks. And that's all you need to know.

I finished copy editing that novel, which was a huge relief, so in celebration I watched Love Actually and started crocheting a large and fluffy blanket, mostly because I finished crocheting all my Christmas gifts and while I do need to put the finishing touches on them, those finishing touches are not crocheting and I like crocheting and I kind of missed it (it's almost a habit now; can't watch TV without making something as well), so I picked a super easy afghan pattern and went for it (and am using up some good, nice, fluffy yarn as well). I spent some time on Pinterest the other night - more than I ever have in one sitting, actually - and repinned a bunch of super cute crocheted clothing options - tops and skirts - and I think I can pull them off. Maybe one project per month, so by the end of the year I have twelve new pieces of clothing that I made myself, that were made to fit me, and that are pretty and feminine. I need to stop feeling guilty for, you know, looking like a girl. I also told my friends that if they buy me yarns and patterns for stuff they want made, I will make it. (I still need to make something cute for my half-niece and for my friend who is going to have a baby boy sometime next year.) But I like making things and I like watching TV shows so I figured I should do that together.

At dog training there were no other dogs, so Devin showed me some dog puzzles they have. Apparently Ivy is one of the fastest puzzle solvers he's ever seen, and he gave me a dog puzzle for her to play with. I figure I can build up a collection of puzzles over time and have them filled with treats and leave them all over the house and Ivy can basically have the house as one giant playground. Devin recommended getting another dog for Ivy to play with, but we reckon we want to wait till she's a little better-trained so a new dog won't learn all the bad habits she has now. I bought her some toy refills as well as a new toy and the aforementioned jacket, and...whoa. I want to buy her all kinds of toys and things, but we are on a budget, and also, she has demonstrated a propensity for cheap toys, like soda cans and empty plastic water bottles. I wonder if this is how people feel about their kids, wanting to give them everything. I also wondered if I was so desperate to spoil Ivy because I was feeling pretty raw after Wednesday still.

However...best moment of my week? Getting a library card. The city library here is modern and beautiful and amazing. All the books have RFID chips, so checkout is automated. I even have a mini library card on my keyring. I borrowed two books - Love in a Time of Cholera and This is How You Lose Her - and I am halfway through This Is How You Lose Her already. I see writing advice from Junot Díaz online all the time, and I figured I should read his stuff before I started taking his advice. Cody also downloaded Brandon Sanderson's Steelheart a while back, and I never got into it, but then I saw one of those weird movie trailers they have for YA books these days, and I read some of it over breakfast this morning, and I'm hooked. I have two books on hold at the library for myself, and since I am a fast reader I have decided to read a book a week next year, if at all possible. I made a crazy little schedule for myself, so that every evening I do something useful - dance, legal study for the publishing house that is still limping along, writing study so my reading for pleasure is put to good use, crafting - and I know if I want to do things I have to make time for them.

And then I'll have kids and have to reshuffle and make time yet again, but I love reading and every time I go on a book binge I remember why I like reading so much. Also the holidays are coming up and I get to visit my parents for a week and that means lots of relaxing and reading. Cody loves the Kindle my mom gave him and we'll sit up side-by-side in bed and read before we go to sleep. It's kind of awesome.

...Mom emailed me and said businesses shut down and church was cancelled because they got four inches of snow. Heh. Four inches. Except seeing how she's a couple hours north of Vegas and that city isn't equipped to deal with snow...yeah. Better safe than sorry.

Here's to being productive this week, to finishing Christmas gifts, to reading and writing and keeping a clean house.