Day 1393: Adulting for the win

[nagi_schwarz]

Check-in:

Spirituality! Surprisingly pretty good despite me having a baby to care for, or maybe because I have a child to care for. My mother was always sure my sister would return to the faith once she had kids (my mother was very wrong). I get why having kids makes some people desire to be more faithful, though. I'm not as...busy about it as I used to be (no more taking detailed study notes in my pretty church journal) but I am pretty consistent about reading and praying (so much praying, for reals, so many prayers answered or Olivia and I wouldn't be here now). I'm not always great but I do feel like my perspective has changed for the better and I'm doing better on the whole, if not necessarily better every day (two steps forward, one step back as they say).

Cleanliness! I continue to surprise myself with how well that's gone in the past week. I have one "major" chore a day, in addition to little things like making sure the house is picked up and the kitchen is clean and usually running a load of laundry (I'll do laundry less often at the new house, I suspect), and so far I've managed to get my major chore done every day, and also some other things like admin toward transitioning to this state and closing on our home loan. I imagine keeping up with cleaning will be harder in a bigger house, but so far so good! The hard part is that I get distracted. I'm so scatterbrained because I'm always keeping one ear out for Olivia...and also I am sleep-deprived.

Fitness! Is...not exactly amazing because I'm still recovering from major surgery, but now that I have a baby carrier that doesn't require four arms and an engineering degree and I've figured out that Olivia likes being in it once I start walking even if she fusses at first, I am getting out and going on walks, if only to take out the trash and check the mail (and, okay, hit up a Pokestop or an Inn on Wizards Unite).

I think I am doing pretty well with the adulting. This week I have successfully cooked dinner for myself and my husband twice! They haven't been elaborate dinners (yes, I served instant mash to my Idaho native husband), but I've cooked them without any major kitchen catastrophes. Olivia continues to be a blessedly "good" baby, only waking once or twice in the night, and going down for naps pretty well. I have discovered that if she's extra fussy going down for a nap, I can swaddle her and rock for about half an hour and then put her in her bassinet and she's fine, though sometimes I can put her down when she's tired but not quite asleep and she'll fall asleep on her own.

She doesn't like pacifiers, though. Apparently she's old enough for one now without one confusing her about nursing, but...she doesn't like them. I've tried a couple different kinds on her and she kind of liked the newest one today. The rough thing about modern parenting is that the internet is loaded with all kinds of advice and most of it is contradictory. My mother says a pacifier is better than letting her suck on her hand for self-soothing because new pacifiers are orthodontically friendly and won't mess up her teeth, and also down the road we can wean her off her pacifier, but we can't...take away her hands. We shall see how it goes. I did read some tips for getting her to like a pacifier, but so far it seems like she...doesn't need one? She doesn't seem to suck on her hands for the sake of self-soothing. When she sucks on her hands it seems to be when she's genuinely hungry. While she's not on a perfect schedule, we have her on enough of a rhythm that we can usually tell what's upsetting her, based on timing, which is handy, because for a while there we never knew why she was crying.

We close on our house on Friday! I did some major admin scrambling yesterday to get that in place, and some more admin scrambling today, and will have to do some tomorrow, but things are moving forward! Of course, that means packing up this flat and cleaning it out and moving our stuff from here to the house, plus the other stuff that was in storage. I finally started looking at decoration ideas for Olivia's nursery. I definitely want to repaint the room we've designated as hers because I'm not overly fond of the colors on the wall. I do want something neutral for her, less because I'm worried about her gender identity and more because...I want it to be useful should we have a boy down the road.

Even though I continue to be chronically sleep-deprived (and shockingly cranky when I'm sleepy; I feel very bad for my husband and am constantly apologizing, it's like the chorus to the Super Junior song Sorry Sorry; but then I'm also constantly apologizing to Olivia when I upset her or she's just upset), I am feeling pretty human. I've found words more days than not, and also managed to watch a whole load of K-drama (okay, while rocking Olivia to sleep I can watch it on my phone, although I also just adore snuggling her tiny warm body) and even read a graphic novel and watch some television with my husband. We've gone out and been social with his coworkers and even went to a restaurant on Saturday for brunch. Olivia is also, as a rule, pretty non-fussy when we go out, and if she does fuss she's pretty easy so soothe.

Olivia is almost five weeks old now! She has grown noticeably in length and weight (sometimes I swear when I pick her up after a nap she's heavier than when I put her down) and she continues to be adorable. She scowls at the world and has learned to punch a toy (she makes a pretty good fist) and she can rage-grab things. My friends swear she glares at the world like I do. She loves it when Cody sings her classic rock songs, but she also enjoys it when I play my mom's 1950's rock'n'roll while we're doing chores together (either she's watching from her car seat or in the baby carrier). Cody suggested 1950's music for me and Olivia since stuff like Kidz Bop drives me insane. He figures 1950's music will be less scandalous than the classic rock his dad let him and his brothers listen to as kids. (Also I think he'd rather Olivia like 1950's doo wop and rock instead of 1990's boybands and K-pop.)

We almost got put on the hook for an extra month's rate...at a much higher rate, because we were supposed to give 60 days' notice of when we were leaving (the rental agreement has two provisions for move out notice, one which is no notice at all if we're leaving at the end of the lease term, which was always the plan, or 60 days)...but the rental company gave us the form a month AFTER it was due. Cody and I were up for an entire night freaking out, but we went to the rental office the next day and explained the situation and the lady was super nice about not sticking us with an extra month's rent. Such a relief. Prayer answered.

Hands down what's helped keep me sane is the presence of my online BFFS sherlockian_syn and brumeier, as well as my IRL text buddy from back in Utah whose baby boy was born one day before Olivia (but she has one older son, a toddler), and my IRL text buddies who used to work at the guardian office with me (one still works there as a lawyer, one was a paralegal but she's now a stay at home mom with her child), and talking to my mom on the phone on the regular, and occasionally my old college roommates. My husband was worried I'd go crazy home alone with no friends and only a baby and a dog for company, but I have lots of company, and I'm super grateful for it. So much love to all the ladies in my life.

We have to pack up this place, clean it, clean the new place, move stuff in and unpack it, and also see about getting a fence put in the back yard so Ivy and Dingo don't reenact Homeward Bound on us. These next couple of weeks are going to be crazy, but we will make it!

Comments

[minoanmiss]

*cheers you on*

The rough thing about modern parenting is that the internet is loaded with all kinds of advice and most of it is contradictory.

OH SO TRUE

[nagi_schwarz]

My husband keeps saying "there's so much advice out there that all of it has to be wrong". I'm pretty much sticking to what her pediatrician tells me plus what I've picked up over the march, and what my mom friends with tiny tots can tell me.

[minoanmiss]

This seems like a sensible rule of thumb. ANd remember that the more dire the warning the more likely it is to be BS. You will not destroy the baby by doing/not doing X Tiny Innocuous Thing.

hugs you

[brumeier]

::hugs:: You're doing such a great job adulting with a new baby! And I know what a great mom you already are and will continue to be. Don't doubt yourself!

[nagi_schwarz]

Thanks! Most days I feel like a chicken with her head cut off.

[brumeier]

That's motherhood, friend. LOL!

[smallhobbit]

Glad things are going well. Having a new baby does change our priorities and the brain power! Best wishes for your move.

[nagi_schwarz]

Thank you so much! So far I'm hanging on to writing. I think without it I'd go insane.

[aome]

FWIW, I had one kid who liked pacifiers and one who didn't, although you also know that both kids were older than newborns when they came to us, so I don't know if that makes a difference. The irony is that the one who didn't like pacifiers (Two) because he didn't like things in his mouth in general (he didn't use his hands, either), now constantly has earphone wires, hoodie drawstrings, etc in his mouth. :-P Go figure.

Good luck with packing, etc, with the added juggling of a baby this time around, but YAY for having a new house so quickly! Super happy for you.

[nagi_schwarz]

Thank you so much! We are excited and nervous. Hope it all pans out.